


Creep

by Louehhazzah



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Louis, Depression, M/M, Music, Singer!Harry, Song: Creep (Radiohead), Top Harry, fineline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:02:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22173754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Louehhazzah/pseuds/Louehhazzah
Summary: harry is a wallflower, louis is a sophomore brat with a heart of gold no one seems to notice, harry, a senior, is a musician in disguise. louis finds him in the music room, Harry performing his self written song Creep on a talent show. he steals Louis' heart and begins to stalk Harry on social media, finding out the boy is gorgeous inside and out, tattoos popping against his milky skin, unashamed of his amazing body.a story of a boy with dark thoughts finding his way through the dark with his light guiding him.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Kudos: 24





	Creep

"so after I snogged Brad at that party, I blew him off at our first date- the bloke wanted to bring me to an ice skate, who even skates nowadays?" Louis jokes, his girls around him as they walk to the cafeteria. "after I blew him off, he bombarded my phone with like 200 messages in an hour time, I blocked him." the history and theatre sophomore said.

Alissa, Gemma and Yosie laugh around him, finding Louis the funniest guy in the planet. "my brother used to be like that, yeah, after he got blew off by some girl he had a crush on he became depressive and shit, now he's all in black and tattooed and a bit of a creep to be honest, I'm scared of him," Gemma blurs out, rolling her eyes at the thought of her annoying brother.

"oh my gosh Gemma, I'll send my prayers to you, you'll survive that creep," Louis laid a hand on her shoulder to show respect. walking to the cafeteria, Louis drops out, pointing at the music room. "hey, I'll come in a second, I promised Stevie I'd jump by for some project," Louis said, pointing at the music room. the girls nod and they walk ahead to the cafeteria. Louis walked into the room, Stevie sitting behind her desk next to the stage, typing away on her laptop.

"Mrs Stevie?"

Stevie looks up, seeing her favourite student. she jumps up from her seat, greeting the petite boy with a heartful hug. "good to see you, Louis, how are you?" she asks, ruffling her fingers through Louis' fluffy hair.

"'m fine, Stevie, how you-"

"Stevie, is this alright?" a voice interrupted him.

Stevie released the hug and turns around to face the unknown voice. Louis looks up to the student, gorgeous brown curls resting untamable on top of a perfectly shaped face. Stevie walks up to the student, taking the notebook out of his hands and scanning the lyrics, "they're quite deep, but meaningful, I like it, it's beautiful, Harry,"

Harry smiles thoughtfully at his teacher, asking her for some more advice and tips, walking back to the studio behind the stage. "who's that?" Louis asks, nodding at the student that just walked away.

"some boy that is here almost everyday writing his song for the talentshow, he follows PE, yet he's always here," Stevie sighs, sitting on her table, "so back to you, you signed for the role of Jimmie, right?"

\--

the wallflower boy didn't leave Louis' mind for the rest of the day. Louis wanted to know more about him, about what he wrote where Stevie commented on, his deep and meaningful lyrics and wanting to know the exact reason behind it.

"when I told you about my brother and his weird crush, he wrote stupid love songs about her wanting to be with her for life and marrying her when he was fucking 16 years old! he's so creepy I'm-" Gemma rambles.

"love songs?" Louis questions. Gemma nods with her big hazel eyes, "like photograph by Ed Sheeran,"

"I'd find it rather cute when someone writes a song about me,"

Gemma rolls her eyes, "you'd be creeped ou-"

"Gem,"

Gemma turns around gasping, jumping from her chair and grabbing the mans hand, "don't ever come near me and my friends," she warns, grabbing his wrist.

"I won't- I just signed up for the talent show at school yeah, can you tell mum about it, please,"

Gemma rolls her eyes, "you won't win, H, you're not even good."

Harry looks at her with warning eyes, "just tell her, okay, that's all I want,"

"if you fuck off I'll think about it,"

Gemma pushes her brother away and sighs loudly, plopping on the chair across of Louis, "fucking creep," she mutters out, loud enough for Harry to hear.

Louis watches Harry' expression turn to disappointment and walks away with his head low, pushing headphones in his ears to block off any interactions. "why did you do that?" Louis asks Gemma,

"do what?"

"treat your brother so poorly?"

Alissa and Yosie look at Louis weirdly, "he's a creep, Louis, he sneaked to Vanessa's house one day, climbed up and knocked on her fucking window, watching her undress," Yosie explains

Louis' eyes widened, "why?"

"because he fell in love with her when he didn't even know her, Louis! my brother's a fucking creep and my family wants to get rid of him so badly,"

when school ends, Louis heads home taking the public transport. he has his earbuds in so no one could bother him in his own little world. his thoughts wondered off to the wallflower boy. he's so eager to know about him. he's definitely Gemmas brother. there's no doubt. after the interaction between Gemma and the boy, Louis was 100% sure they're related. Louis didn't get why Gemma was like that to her brother, he doesn't seem rude or creepy.

his mind wandered off that he almost forgot to push the stop button on the bus arriving to his bus stop a few minutes from his house. the bus stops at Louis' station and he thanks the driver politely. they don't get enough credits. Louis kicks the rocks that lay in front of his feet, his ands in his pockets as he listens to Hozier. he has something with that artist. its endearing.

Louis gets home and immediately heads up to his bedroom, throwing his bag in the corner of his room and plops on his bed, grabbing his laptop from the nightstand. he goes onto Facebook and checks any check-ins from his friends, seeing a post from Gemma and her mother. he could see a slight glimpse of Harry's curls being cut off the picture. Louis pouts and checks Harry's facebook. surprisingly he has a lot of friends, over 300 people.

Louis could see Harry wasn't that social on Facebook, the only posts on it where birthday messages from previous years and old teenage posts on entering a giveaway that he clearly never won. there were a few pictures of him on his facebook, black and white. he looked serious and his eyes were dull, no expression or emotion. Louis loves the way Harrys face is shaped. so beautiful and strong, like him.

his last check-in was last week, Zayn Malik tagged in the post and a location where Harry clearly hangs out often, a club called Blue Bird. Louis looks into the club and finds out its close to his house, maybe a ten minute walk. so Harry had to live close to him or has the guts to travel to the other side of the city to go to his specific club.

he checked up on Zayn's account, seeing a lot more of Harry's face on there. Zayn is quite keen on keeping his Facebook in tact, commenting and sharing a lot on his facebook, posting pictures of him and his friends, mainly Harry.

Louis stares at the pictures for a good 5 minutes before he heard his mother yell for dinner.

\---

the talent show was 2 weeks away, Harry had 2 more weeks to finish his song. the song he'll probably get a lot of hate on, or will get accepted by the entire school. the rumours about him being a creep are false. Harry never sneaked up and watched a girl undress out of the window. it was a joke between Harry and Zayn, the only guy that supports him.

Gemma turned every joke to a rumour and made Harry a wallflower, unknown to everyone and if they knew him, they'd be grossed out. sadly enough Gemma still lives with Harry, hearing him play music every day with his so-called friend.

Gemma is rather popular because of Louis, and she didn't want to lose her 'fame' because of her stupid creepy brother, not wanting to interact with him during school time or whenever she has friends over. Harry doesn't give a fuck about her reputation, calling her out during lunch and basically trying to ruin her life as she did with his.

"Okay so the plan is, play Common and when I walk off stage, you play your song, yeah? I'll try to put up the lyrics on the screen behind you so everyone can read them as well as hear you sing them, maybe to make them understand more, alright?"

Harry nods, smiling at Zayn. "thanks, Z" Zayn shrugs it off.

the talent show is 10 February, Harry's birthday is in 4 days, he had nothing planned and didn't want to celebrate his 20th birthday, nobody cared besides Zayn. he usually gives Harry a cupcake or a big cake with candles on it, popping a bottle of wine or alcohol to celebrate it with him.

\---

@HarryStyles: 20.

@ZaynMalik: HARRY BIRTHDAY MATE, LOVE YOU! lol 

@ZaynMalik: HARRY BIRTHDAY MATE, LOVE YOU! lol

@HarryStyles: @ZaynMalik get hit by a bus xx 

@EdSheeran: happy birthday bro.

@Louist95: Happy Birthday! 

\---

Harry walked through the hallways, his head hung low and music playing in his ears, Hozier filling his mind with his deep voice and lyrics. he wanted to be like him, his inspiration. he's a big fan of him, he wouldn't mind meeting him and telling him his music has done a lot for Harry.

he made his way into the music room, dropping his bag by the door and casually walking to the piano, not noticing the boy sitting on stage, waiting for Harry. Harry pulls the wires from his ears and sat behind the piano, opening the cover to reveal the keys. usually, to get his voice ready, he sings one of Hozier's songs, as always.

todays choice was Cherry Wine, piano version. once Harry started to sing, Louis' heart burned. not in a bad way, the boys voice is incredible, raspy, deep and light at the same time. his pronounces are lovely to hear and the way his mouth works is a masterpiece. Louis got actually emotional hearing Harry play.

after Cherry Wine, Harry closed the piano, grabbing the guitar from the stalls behind him and hums the beat whilst straining the strings to perfection. he sat down on the same stool as he earlier sat by the piano, his back facing Louis.

'I don't care if it hurt  
I want to have control  
I want a perfect body  
I want a perfect soul- I want... shit."

Harry sighs, biting on the pick and pushing his hair back. the frustration builds up and he places the guitar back in the stall, grabbing his notebook. "I want you to-" Harry hums, Harry sits next to his bag, notebook resting on his knees and the pen in his mouth, "when I'm not around, you're so fucking special, I wish I was special," Harry sang with his raspy voice, his voice breaking in the middle of the sentence.

Harry was done writing, the song was close to finished, only having to repeat the chorus and bridge. Harry makes his way to the guitar again, singing from beginning to end, wanting to know how it plays and if it's perfect.

'but I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo,  
what the hell am I doing here,  
I don't belong here,'

Harry sighs in relief when the songs officially finished, grabbing his phone and calling Zayn, he walks around with his head low, phone plastered on his ear, trying to get ahold of his mate. it was only 11 AM, maybe Zayn was still asleep.

"H?"

Harry smiles, "Z, I finished, the song." Harry said proudly, kicking his foot. he could hear Zayn grinning on the other end of the line.

"that's awesome Harry, what the hell, you're gonna smash it,"

Harry bites his lip, "I hope, I got stuck on the second verse but somehow I got into the mindset of last year and I just went for it,"

Zayn remembers last year like it was yesterday, the day Harry tried to kill himself. "H, you okay?" he asks curiously.

Harry chuckles, "I am, Zayn, don't you worry about me, I'm okay, I don't have the urge anymore, not now, haven't for a while,"

"good, you'd tell me if you did, yeah?"

"of course, you're the first I'd call, no one else cares, right,"

Zayn grins, "we don't need anyone else, we got each other bro, that's what matters,"

Harry smiles at himself, thankful for the bloke on the other side of the line. "thank you, I'm gonna write the song down and I'll play it to you tonight, deal?"

Harry and Zayn hung up, "the urge?" Harry lifts his head, facing Louis. "what are you doing here?" Harry asks, his eyes widened.

"the urge to what?" he asks, getting up from the stage and making his way to Harry. "you are Gemma's brother right?"

Harry nods slowly, "how'd you find out?"

"the interaction between you few weeks ago kinda gave it away..."

Harry shrugs, turning around, "why do you care, Louis. you have been creeping on me for the last hour and a half."

Harry goes his stuff, Louis grabbing his wrist, "I've been trying to get in touch with you, Gemma has been talking shit about you, making you seem like the bad guy and a creep, but listening to your song, it's a whole different story!"

"there are always two sides to a story, Louis,"

Louis was the only one left in the room, Harry's voice repeating itself in Louis' mind. Louis makes his way to Gemma, feeling disgusted and angry he had ever listened to her bullshit about her so-called creepy brother. he burst into the cafeteria, slamming a hand down the table where Gemma was seated with his other friends.

"Why'd you lie?"

Gemma frowns, "about what Lou?"

"cut the bullshit, Gemma! your brother!"

Harry watched the scene unfold at the doors, seeing Louis snitching his best friend. "you told me about your brother creeping on some girl and watching her undress through a window, you told me he has been dealing drugs to 8 years old, you told me you and your family want to get rid of him, that he doesn't have anyone, that nobody cares about him- that's all a fucking lie, Gemma."

Gemma's eyes hardened, "it's true, Louis, all of it! if you didn't fucking listen to my brother! he wants people to believe him!"

Harry walks up to them, grabbing Louis arm and yanking him from the tables. "fuck off, Gemma." Harry pulls Louis away from the crowd, walking with a large step from the school and to his motorcycle. Harry pushes Louis to the wall, pressing his lips against Louis' roughly.

Louis gasps for the sudden action and opens his mouth as he feels Harry's tongue brushing over his lip. he wraps his arms around Harry's neck, his fingers curling around Harry's baby hairs on the back of his neck. their mouths work perfectly together. Harry pushes his hips against Louis' abdomen, making friction between the two and the tension rises. "Harry," Louis croaks out, a moan escaping from his lips. Harry hums, pressing wet kisses down his jaw and neck. Harry's hands find their way to Louis' hips, the tips of his fingers digging in the flesh.

"oh my god- your mouth," Louis gasps, tilting his neck to give Harry more access. Harry's fingers find their way under Louis' shirt, rubbing Louis' soft back with his thumb. Harry leaves a few hickeys behind, releasing himself from Louis' neck. his lips are swollen, his eyes blown and his pupils dilated. Louis looked freshly fucked, his cheeks red, lips pink and puffed, his eyes untamed and wide.

"why did you do that for me?" Harry asks, his hands still on Louis' hips. Louis shakes his head softly, looking down. "Louis, no one ever did that for me, let alone someone with a reputation."

Louis sighs, "your song did something to me, the way you sang, the lyrics, they are real, aren't they? the 'when I'm not around' and 'I don't want to be here' and 'I wish I was special', those are real feelings, right?"

a lump forms in Harry's throat, hearing those words come out of someone's mouth is a whole different perspective to Harry's life. Harry admits it and nods his head, the heavy feeling on his shoulders. "why?"

their eyes meet. Harry felt save in those eyes, those gorgeous blue eyes he wants to write songs about, his baby blue eyes. "because I'm sad, Louis." he whispers. "I'm a creep like Gemma told the whole school, my family, my friends,"

he didn't know why he's telling Louis all of this. Louis could tell the school about this for gods sake, and make Harry feel ever sadder. Harry thought it went too quickly, not even knowing the goddamn gorgeous boy in front of him. but it felt right, to tell him. Louis seems like he's good to Harry. the eyes completely enchanted Harry.

"you don't want to be a creep," Louis cups Harry's cheek, his thumb caressing Harry's cheekbone. Harry pushes his face in his hand, loving the feeling of someone touching him. "you don't want to be lonely, sad and a wallflower- you're meant to shine, Hazz."

Harry smiles brokenly at Louis, his eyes tearing up. "I don't, but there's not much to do," a tear escapes from his eyes, falling down and Louis was the one to catch them. "my family wants to disown me, I have no money to rent a place or stay somewhere, I have no friends I can stay at, Zayn's house is always full with his sisters, his mum hates me and wants me as far away from Zayn- I, fuck-" Harry lets the tears escape. he hates being vulnerable.

Louis wraps his arms around Harry's middle, pressing his cheek against Harry's chest, his ear just above Harry's racing heartbeat. Harry hides his face in Louis' hair. Louis rubs Harry's broad back, physically telling him to let it go and he's here. "Harry?"

Zayn.

Harry looks up, seeing Zayn standing there, scared and worried. Harry releases the hug, thanking Louis with a sad smile. "bro, what's going on in there? you alright, man?" Harry nods, grabbing Zayn by the shoulders and holding him tight. "I was worried about you, dude, don't scare me like that."

hearing Zayn like that made Louis feel better. Louis could tell Zayn really cares about Harry, he doesn't listen to the rumours and knows the real Harry. Louis felt content knowing Harry has someone that cares about him, like family. he instantly felt save around Zayn. "I'm okay, Z, thank you." Zayn rubs his back. looking at him in his eyes.

"no urges? let me see your arms." Harry sighs, rolling up his sleeves. old and light lines were carved in his arms, no freshly cut. "legs? do they burn? be honest with me,"

"I haven't cut, Zayn, 3 weeks."

Zayn nods, believing his best friend, his eyes are soft. Zayn saw Louis in the corner of his eyes, hesitant to tell Harry the good news but seeing the content look on Harry's face, he was sure he can brighten up his day even more. "uhm, I talked to mum yesterday and she's fine with you staying with us for a few weeks until you get your own space,"

"really?"

Zayn nods, his eyes lighting up when Harry smiled, a genuine smile. "you can escape from that shit hole now,"

Harry rubs his hands over his face, a heavy weight falling off his shoulders. Louis smiles at Harry, sending him a thumbs up. he might not know the situation Harry's in, but he can sense Harry's grateful for leaving his house. "can I move in tonight? dads coming home today,"

Zayn nods, "we can pack straight away,"

Harry smiles, "you coming?" Harry turns to Louis. Louis points at himself, making sure it's him Harry's talking to. Harry nods, "c'mon, I wanna show you that Gemma's wrong," Louis gives him an approving look. Harry grabs his motorcycle. he pats on the seat, allowing Louis on the motorcycle as Harry pushes it to his house. Louis climbs on, sitting high on Harry's bike. Zayn chuckles at them.

Harry had a crush on Louis for a while, the first time he saw him in the music room with Stevie. he has been eyeing Louis ever since. even stalked him on his Instagram account that was filled with beautiful selfies of Louis. Harry stared at them for hours, the pools of his eyes so gorgeously blue and he wants to dive into them. on the way to Harry house, Zayn and Harry talk about all things, Harry's wellbeing, Zayn's sisters, his mum.

they make it to Harry's house. Louis wasn't aware Gemma's parents were quite rich, a beautiful white mansion. Harry didn't look rich at all, quite average to be honest. Harry parks his bike in the garage, walking through the garage door that leads them to the kitchen. Zayn and Louis follow. Zayn, of course, knew the place, but Louis' eyes were almost falling out of its sockets.

Harry walks up front, climbing up flights to a wooden door in a dark hallway. "you have all this space, and you have the attic?" Louis asks. Harry nods, opening the door. broken stairs lead up to the small attic. Louis follows, his eyes widened.

"this is the way they treat Harry," Zayn said. Harry stood with his hands behind his back, nodding. he wasn't proud. "can I tell him?"

Harry nods again. Louis wasn't sure if he was ready for it, nor Harry, but he was eager to know more about him. he wants to help.

"Harry has been sad for years, since he was 6, his parents didn't care, their only responsibility was Gemma, their princess. Harry needed treatment and therapy, they never gave it to him- Harry tried to kill himself 4 times now, 1 time really close to success."

Louis' lip trembled, watching Harry with his head hung low and taking in the reality. "once laid in a lake whilst storming, lightning almost truck him and burned him, once cut his throat, once the vein that leads through your entire body, once hung himself up,"

"Harry..."

Harry shakes his head, he didn't want someone to talk to him. "I found him when he hung himself up, in this room, the rope's still there," Zayn points to the rope around a wooden beam that supports the roof. "he had a note written for me, for when he died he had a goodbye,"

"and he doesn't regret his suicide attempts."

a tear escapes from Harry's eyes, falling onto the ground, "he was ready to leave this shit hole because his family didn't give a fuck, his family doesn't love him, he was a mistake to them, but let me tell you, besides Harry sadness, he is the grates man on planet earth."

Harry broke down, tears falling down to the floor, "I'm sorry," Harry whispers. Zayn shakes his head, "I am, Zayn,"

"I know you are, but you don't have to," Zayn rubs his back, "Zarry, right? forever?"

Harry nods, smiling through his tears. "Zarry."

Louis catches Harry's tears and cups his cheek. "I might not know you for long, but it feels like I've known you for years, I care about you, Harry, and we're gonna make sure you're alright. I've been keeping an eye on you from distance and I feel like you need to shine, I can give you the treatment you need, if you let me. I know this is quick, but if it doesn't happen soon, it might never come."

"I never thought Gemma's best friend would do this," Zayn laughs.

"she didn't brainwash him enough," Harry jokes, wrapping an arm around Louis' middle. Louis smiles against Harry's chest, Louis' heart racing so quickly. he felt safe in Harry's arms, like he has known Harry for so long. he never wanted to leave.

they hear the door slam closed, "Harry! you here!? your bike's outside!"

"who's that?"

"Harry's mum,"

they walk downstairs, greeting Harry's mum. "I'm moving in with Zayn," Harry broke the iceberg and released the water that flooded Harry. Anne's eyes widen, "I'm gone by tonight,"

"for how long?"

"forever."

Anne frowns, "you're 19... you don't have the money to move out?"

"I'm 20, Anne,"

"I'm your mum, Harry" Anne argues.

Harry laughs, "funny way of showing," Anne's eyes widened and her hand clatches with Harry's cheek. Louis gasps, ready to open his mouth but Zayn holds him down. Harry looks at Anne, his eyes hard and broken. "I hate you. so much."

Harry runs up the stairs, slamming the door closed. Anne closes her eyes, calming herself down and the regret builds up. "you should be ashamed of yourself." Louis commented, following Harry. the woman has never seen the kid, so she doesn't take the comment to heart.

he is welcomed by Harry grabbing a large bag from under his bed, throwing in clothes. Louis could see tears flying from his face and the anger in his posture. Harry rushes through the closet, only filled by black and dark clothes, the only pop of colour in his closet was a shirt owned by Zayn.

Zayn came up as well, helping Harry packing his bag without talking, they communicate through their feelings. Zayn grabs Harry's guitar and places it in the bag, laying it by the door. "your guitars by the door," Harry nods. Zayn grabs Harry's toiletries, putting it in a travel bag and laying it on his bed. Harry grabs his laptop and electronics whilst Zayns grabs his boxers and socks, stuffing it in his bag. Louis just stood there seeing the two best mates grab everything for Harry to escape.

Harry grabs his helmet from the top of the shelve as well as keys, "take the car from the garage, meet me at your place," Harry hands him the keys to his jeep. Harry grabs his leather jacket from the closet, putting it on. Louis had to bite his lip before he made a comment on how the jacket fitted Harry perfectly. Harry grabs his steel boots and the bag. Zayn grabs the guitar and they walk out of Harry's bedroom, forever.

"you have everything?" Zayn asks. Harry nods, letting the bag fall on the ground and he sits down to put on his shoes. "you're going with the bike?"

"I'm gonna ride for a while, need to get my mind straight," Harry said, putting on his helmet and closing the lock. he puts on the gloves and heads out. Louis grabs the bag from Harry.

"be careful, H." Zayn unlocks the jeep, giving Harry a short hug and pets him on his helmet, sending the boy a tight smile. Zayn lays the guitar in the back with Harry's large bag. Harry sways his leg over the bike, turning it on and the engine roars. Louis wanted to join him, but he hasn't got the protection he needed like Harry. "an hour, yeah?" Harry nods, taking off. Louis could see the baby hairs under the helmet. you can hear the engine roaring until he was really gone.

"what are you gonna do?" Zayn asks, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"wanna make sure Harry's fine,"

they got into the car and drive to Zayn's place. "how do you know Harry's alright?" Louis asks. "like on the bike?"

"Harry loves the thing, the only escape for him, he wouldn't want to die with pleasure," Zayn's words hit Louis straight in the face. "he'd kill himself with the things he hates,"

Zayn drove up to the highway, seeing Harry driving a few cars ahead of him. "there he is," Zayn points at the black Harley, driving in the middle of the road. Harry opens the gas, catching up with a Jaguar next to him. Louis laughs, "he's an amazing driver," Louis comments.

Zayn had to push the gas more to stay close to Harry and keep an eye on him. Harry looks through the rearview mirror, seeing Zayn drive behind him. he turns his head, waving at him. Louis grins. Harry took off, too fast for Zayn to catch up, "he does that a lot," Zayn said.

"I want to know how it feels, like on a bike," Louis admits. Zayn looks at him for a moment, smirking. "I have motor clothes, I usually join Harry on his trips to the north, you can borrow it sometime. might be a little big for you but at least you're protected."

Louis nods, smiling, "if Harry wants me, I'll join him,"

when they get to Zayn's house, Harry hasn't arrived yet. Zayn checks his phone, seeing that Harry had shared his location. Harry knows it calms Zayn down knowing where Harry is. "Harry's in Bolton but he'll be here soon,"

20 minutes later, Harry drives down the street. Louis jumps out of the car, ready to cuddle Harry. Harry stops in front of him, pulling the helmet from his head and smirking, "I saw you laughing at me in the car,"

Louis grins, "you look awesome on the bike, suits you," Louis grabs Harry by the collar of his jacket and pulls him in for a kiss. "I want to join you next time," Harry smirks against his lips, nodding.

"you can borrow Zayn's suit, I got it for him for his birthday,"

"Zayn told me, yeah," Louis took Harry's helmet, trying it on. "it's a bit big," Harry chuckles, a genuine chuckle.

"I have a big head, an XL, you probably got an XS or S," Harry got off his bike, parking it on Trisha's property. Harry took off his jacket, and hung it over his shoulder, greeting Zayn.

"nice ride?"

Harry nods, "went off the roads for a bit, through the woods, nice route, I'll show you sometime,"

Zayn smiles, "good."

\----

it's been a week since Harry moved in with the Malik family, he didn't regret it one bit. for once, Trisha was interested in Harry's life, how he got the motorcycle and his talent for singing. Zayn's oldest sister moved out, making a room free for Harry to move into. they took everything from the attic to the bedroom, much bigger and better isolated.

not much has changed at school, Harry still hung out with Zayn all the time, Louis was busy with his friends and being ' famous', but Gemma is out of Louis' life. Harry's parents never tried to contact him, probably didn't even notice he was gone.

today, 5 days before the talent show, Harry and Zayn sat with Louis and his best friends. Zayn was getting food for Harry and himself, leaving Harry with Louis, thinking he'd be okay alone for 5 minutes. Harry felt uncomfortable around this many people, tugging on his sleeves and playing with a lost string. his leg was bouncing, nervous about something but he couldn't name it. he kept looking around, his breath hitching. he tugs on the babycurls on the back of his neck, feeling the sweat starting to collect on his neck. he felt hot in his clothes, especially his thighs and forearms. he started scratching his older scars, re-opening them through his long-sleeved shirt. his toes curls in his boots, his chest heavy.

Harry snatched his bag from the ground, not thinking twice before walking away, plugging his earphones in his ear. he needed to calm down and get away from everything. "Harry!" Harry didn't turn around, leaving the room. Zayn passed Harry, the man pushing Zayn away and rushing out of the school.

"what happened?" Louis asks, catching up with Zayn, receiving a shrug from Zayn. Zayn grabs his phone, texting Harry.

to Harry: mate whats up? do I need to come?

from Harry: no

Louis' friends roll their eyes, "I'm glad he's gone, really, he was freaking out," Yosie said as she walked over. Louis glares at her, "what, he was trembling and acted nervous and was like scratching his arms, he was sweating like a fucking lion. I got scared he might hit me,"

"Harry was trembling?" Zayn interrupts, his eyes widened. Yosie nods, "kept looking around and tugging on his hair like he went crazy,"

Zayn grabbed his phone, calling Harry and he grabs his bag from where they sat and headed out of the cafeteria. "Harry, tell me you're alright." Louis looks up to Zayn, following him, hoping Harry's fine. "where are you, I'm com- Harry, I need you to calm down, I'm coming yeah, where are you?"

his eyes are worried and scared Harry might have done something, "H, I need you to put it down, you know you're stronger than that, where are you." Zayn walks through the halls to the back entrance of the school. "Harry- I know it's hard, we've been through it back and forth, just hang on tight, yeah?"

Zayn walks calmly outside, talking softly to Harry to calm him down, "I'm outside right now, where are you exactly?" Louis taps him on his shoulder, pointing at the garage and Harry sitting in the corner rolled up. Zayn hung up and ran to Harry, knowing exactly what he was doing.

Zayn grabs his hands, his wrists covered in blood, "look at me," Harry shook his head, pulling away from Zayn, his hair falls in front of his eyes, covering his red rimmed eyes and pale skin, his lip busted from biting it so much. "Harry, listen to me, at least," Harry cried out loudly, hiding his face in his bloody arms, sobbing. Louis wanted to hold him and cuddle the sadness out of him. "tell me why you did it, you were 4 weeks clean, H..."

Harry sobs, "the-they told me," he hiccups, "they told at me,"

"who?"

Zayn was familiar with Harry's thoughts, he talked about it with him, claiming he had heard voices to make him do things. usually, Harry brushed it away and listened to music. "th-they did, Zayn!" Harry tugs on his hair, the blood rubbing in with his curls. Harry slams his hand against the wall, opening his knuckles as well. Louis couldn't handle the pain Harrys going through.

Louis crawls to him, pressing his head to Harry's chest and just cuddles him. he thought it was the best medicine for Harry right now. Harry didn't push him away, sobbing in Louis' arms. Louis has never seen cuts, never saw them bleeding or seeing them on someone special to him. Zayn used a napkin to clean Harry's freshly cut lines and put a bandage around them, always carrying it with him.

"Harry, do you still hear them?" Zayn asks carefully. Harry shakes his head, his eyes focused on nothing, "that's good, does it help, Louis cuddling you?"

Harry nods, "makes me feel safe," Harry whispers, tired out and not 100% clear of where he is. Louis smiles softly at Harry, "never felt safe before,"

"let's get you home, yeah? you're tired and weak of blood loss, hmm... I'll make you tea and maybe a joint,"

Harry chuckles, looking up, "need more than one,"

"just one for now, H," Louis crawled out of Harry's touch, helping him get up. Harry leans on Zayn, the blood leaking through bandages.

"Zayn?" Zayn hums, supporting Harry with his arm around Harry's middle. "thank you," he whispers.

Louis and Harry sat in the backseat, leaning against Harry and playing with Harry's rings, not focussing on the red bandage around his wrist and bloody knuckles. Harry managed to calm down, being distracted by Louis being so close to him. Zayn had put on some of Harry's favourite songs, hearing Harry hum with the lyrics.

it was only 2 PM, and they all had school till 4, only two hours of PE, so it wasn't a big deal. "Harry?" Harry hums, "can we go and take a ride on the bike soon?" Harry squeezed Louis hip,

"of course,"

they got to Zayn's house. luckily no one was home. Harry sat on the bar stool, ripping the bandages off and looking at the cuts he made, 8 new ones. Zayn grabs his wrist gently, taking care of them so they heal properly. Harry sighs disappointedly, knowing he had hurt Zayn and he's mad at him.

"don't think about it, H, I'm not mad, I can never be mad at you,"

Harry nods, still not convinced. Louis pressed a kiss on the crown of Harry's head, peppering him with kisses. Zayn tapped his wrist, letting him know it's done. Harry thanks him, looking down. "I'll roll you one, calms you down,"

Harry smiles thankfully at him, pulling Louis with him up the stairs and they walk to Harry's temporary bedroom. "what does Zayn mean with rolling one?" Louis questions, plopping on Harry's bed and facing him.

"joint,"

Louis mouth forms to an 'o', nodding, "does it help?" Louis wonders, "the weed?" Harry shrugs, grabbing his helmet and cleaning the windscreen to get all the flies off, brushing his suit, getting the dirt off.

"it calms my mind sometimes, not really my feelings or the pain," Harry said, his voice cold and pained. "there are many other solutions for making me not feel, but they are more fatal and stronger than weed- Zayn doesn't want me to use it,"

"like what?"

"meth, coke, heroin,"

it hurt Louis, knowing Harry had thought about those dangerous drugs to make him not feel. Gemma was so wrong about her brother- he needed her help, her love and support, he wasn't a creep, he's just, sad. really sad. "I agree with Zayn, you shouldn't mess with that stuff,"

Harry nods, "I know,"

he didn't sound confident.

"have you ever used it?"

Harry faced Louis, his eyes aren't sparkling the way they used to when he's around Louis, his cheeks aren't flushed red, his lips are cold, "what haven't I tried, Louis- I tried to kill myself, four times, and you're asking me if I never had used one of the most illegal drugs in the world?"

"I'm sorry,"

Harry shakes his head, "it's fine, I shouldn't talk to you like that," Harry sighs. Zayn knocks on the door, giving Harry the joint, "thanks," Zayn just nods and hands him the lighter. Harry puts the joint between his lips, covering his hand over the weed and lights it, handing the lighter back to Zayn. Harry breaths in a large gulp of smoke, letting it burn for a few seconds, rotting his lungs before he blows it out. Zayn smiles softly at him,

"take some rest, yeah? the talent show is in 5 days,"

Harry nods, biting his lip. "I'll be fine by then,"

"I know you will,"

\---

the talent show was in 6 hours. all candidates were in the music room rehearsing. Harry didn't do much, just on his laptop doing the last things for his performance. last minute, he decided to come clean to the world, his parents if they show up- to Louis. Zayn backed out, giving Harry the spotlight he deserved. there are many other ways to hear Zayn, tonight is all about Harry.

Harry watched the video a few times, a black canvas with large white letters saying "DISTURBING IMAGES". Harry sighs, somewhat proud of himself for stepping out of his comfort zone. maybe people will change their minds after hearing Harry's side of Gemma's made up story. maybe they won't, think even worse about him.

all the candidates head to the stage, rehearsing with a microphone and checking everything. Harry didn't want to join, he didn't want them to hear him just yet. most of the students were already in shock Harry was going to perform, being such a wallflower this entire time, and coming out of his shell with a talent show.

"why are you here, creep?"

Harry looks up, seeing one of Gemma's friends, Cooper. "same reason as you," Harry mumbles out, pulling the USB out of his laptop and stuffing it in his pocket.

"you know, Louis Tomlinarse isn't yours, I've seen him with you,"

Harry just nods, not really bothered with him. he's heard worse. he knows Louis. he doesn't run off like the rest, he walks right up to him instead. "it's probably a dare, the reason why he's with you,"

"maybe,"

Harry gets up from the floor, "maybe it's the reason why he walked out of your life and walked in mine, might rethink that, huh?" with that Harry walked out of the room, a smirk on his lips. he just ruined Cooper and he's quite proud of it. he never was strong enough to open his mouth and fight back, Louis had quite an influence on him, a good one.

8 PM was creeping up, friends and family walking into the large room and taking their seats. Harry is one of the last to perform, out of the 30 people. he has his fingers crossed his mother would considerate coming, but he's sure Louis, Zayn and his family would turn up. a smile crossed his face as Louis walks in, Zayn and his family were behind them, sitting with them. Louis promised Harry to save a seat for his mother if she would show up.

Harry might dislike his mother, but she's his mother, the woman who gave him life, even if it's fucked up. he was still grateful for her, for not aborting him when she didn't even want him. Harry sighs, getting his head full of unwanted thoughts. he walked outside for a bit, lighting a cigarette to clear his thoughts and get him in the right mindset for the performance.

two performances left until it's Harry's turn. he hasn't looked at the crowd after it started, but he's certain there are loads of people. "coming up, Harry Styles. he has been my favourite student for a while, last minute, he wanted me to change his background to something he made, so here is Harry!"

Harry takes a large breath, walking up with his hands rubbing on his jeans, sweating so badly. Harry sat behind the piano, and the black canvas with white letters saying "DISTURBING IMAGES" shines behind him.

"this is my story," Harry said, "my creepy story," he added with a chuckle, his fingers dancing over the keys of the black piano.

"When you were here before  
Couldn't look you in the eye  
You're just like an angel  
Your skin makes me cry"

flashing images behind Harry contains him in the picture, his arms in the shot with large cuts carved in them, blood pouring out, Harry doing drugs, Harry crying and videos of him having an anxiety attack, a panic attack and suicide thoughts.

"But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.  
What the hell am I doing here?  
I don't belong here."

there were videos of Harry in the hospital, Zayn holding his hand and telling himself Harry was going to be alright, subtitles underneath the video for Zayn's voice. Harry's eyes were closed, his throat covered with bandages and blood seeping through, "you're not going to die, Harry," were written. "not today,"

"I don't care if it hurts  
I want to have control  
I want a perfect body  
I want a perfect soul"

there were photos of Harry in rehab, looking dead, his cheeks were sunken in, his hair thick and heavy, just hanging there. Harry's arms were filled with scars and cuts, his fingers decorated with rings. he was in just boxers, revealing his scar covered skin, his tattoos filled with emotion and meaning. his thighs had burn marks on them, wanting to burn himself, cuts as well as other marks and scars from other attempts on suicide.

"I want you to notice  
When I'm not around  
You're so fuckin' special  
I wish I was special"

this time, Harry made a video of himself, sitting on his bed and a rope behind him, a goodbye letter to his best mate. Harry hasn't sung, his fingers playing the keys as the video played with audio.

"hi, Zayn- this might come as a shock for you, for your family and your friends. I'm hoping you won't be mad at me, I hope you understand my decision and wanting it to be done. I want to thank you for everything you've done for me. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that you were here for me. those 8 long years we've been best friends, and never have you doubted me. yes I have broken the rules we had set up to get me better, yes I have hurt you so fucking badly, yes I know you sometimes get the feeling you can't do anything to help me. but still, you were there. you were the one to clean my cuts, to hold my legs under water so the burns didn't get worst, you were there to set me free from the cutting, the lake during storms, the hospital. this time I have to set myself free.

after today, I won't be hurting anymore, I won't feel any pain, I'll be free from everything. this video is goodbye. I'll miss you man-" Harry had tears in his eyes, wiping them away. "I hope you can move on, forget about me and live a life without my trouble. this behind me- is my escape."

"But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.  
What the hell am I doing here?  
I don't belong here."

the screen was black for a few solid seconds, white text appearing again, 'my fourth suicide attempt failed again, Zayn found me, Zayn saved me.'

"Whatever makes you happy  
Whatever you want  
You're so fuckin' special  
I wish I was special"

the last pictures appeared, Harry smiling, his face looked fresh and living. his cheeks weren't sunk in anymore, his dimples were out and shining. his skin littered with scars and black ink. his hair was growing, curls bouncing again. some pictures were sad as well, Harry crying again, a razor in his hands as Zayn tried to calm him down.

"But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo,  
What the hell am I doing here?  
I don't belong here.  
I don't belong here."

the screen turns black and Harry stopped playing, looking at the screen.

'my name is Harry Styles. I'm twenty years old, I tried to commit suicide four times and failed all of them. I am bipolar and still have suicidal thoughts, still want relief and still want to be happy. this was my story. am I a creep to you?'

Harry stood up from his piano, grabbing the microphone from the standard, "thank you,"

Zayn and Louis were the first to stand up, the rest following. a standing ovation. Harry spotted his mother in the crowd, wiping away the tears and standing up as well. Gemma was nowhere to be found, the usual.

Harry walked off stage and the crowd was still applauding.

all 30 candidates were done performing, a 30-minute break for the judges to decide who has won. Harry wasn't nervous, he didn't care if he won or not, he just wanted to tell his story. some candidates looked at Harry, their eyes scanning over his arms. Harry wore a black top to show everything, he didn't care, he was proud of overcoming a big and dark stage out of his life.

"we're calling out three people who might win the tonights talent show, first, Gabby Whon. Harry Styles and Cooper Mcparker."

Harry's eyes widened. did he hear that correct? the three walk up, Harry standing in the middle.

"and the winner of tonight's talent show, Harry Styles"

Harry froze. he didn't move an inch until he was pushed to Stevie, handing him the trophy, "we chose to let Harry win, because of his story. I have known him for 4 years now. I saw the cuts on his arms and I was worried about him, he told me some bits about his story and I told him to write about it, and his song Creep was the result"

Harry smiled thankfully at Stevie, "I've been working on his school for years now, I've always known Harry was a wallflower because of rumours spreading around that he was indeed a creep, a weirdo and crazy. but if you look twice, he isn't one of them, behind his scars and thoughts, he is the most caring and vulnerable person ever, I respect him for that."

she handed him his trophy, giving him a big, powerful hug and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "thank you,"

"Zayn. thank you so fucking much mate, without you I wouldn't fucking hold this piece of metal. cheers to you,"

Zayn laughed, running up to the stage, climbing up and hugging Harry tightly, rocking him side to side. the crowd applauds again. they walk off stage with an arm thrown over each other's shoulder.

later that night, Louis ran up to him, jumping in his arms. Harry lost his balance but was quick to regain his balance and held Louis tight, his head on Louis' chest. "I'm so fucking proud of you, Hazz." Louis lets himself fall, landing on his feet and presses a kiss on Harry's beautiful lips.

"thank you,"

he hasn't smiled for a while, a sincere smile that didn't fade away. it stayed. it felt amazing, the feeling of letting it out. he didn't feel trapped anymore. it felt good everyone knowing. he was nervous about his mother though, how she felt.

"Harry? darling?"

speak of the devil.

Harry turned around to face his mother. her eyes were red and she had definitely cried. "why didn't you tell me?" her voice was broken.

"you didn't care, mam..." Harry spoke softly.

"of course I do, you're my son-" she sighs, her brows furrowed, "maybe I'm not a good mum to you, with all I've said and done, but you're still my son, I brought life to such an amazing son and I could never regret having him. I'm so sorry, Harry..."

Harry heard the honesty in her voice, pulling her in a hug. Anne cried in his chest, soaking his shirt but he didn't mind. "I'm so sorry you had to go through it alone, I'm such a bad mum..."

Harry lowered his head on top of his mother's. he didn't say anything, he didn't know what to say. Anne was correct about being a bad mum, she wasn't correct about Harry going it through alone, he had Zayn. there's time for Anne to make it up to him, he would let her try her best and be the mum she wanted to be and be there for her son.

Anne released the hug, cupping Harry's cheek. "I'm proud of you- really. I'll make it up to you, I promise. will you please come home?"

Harry sighs, "I don't know, mam."

she nods, "I understand. I'm gonna thank Zayn, you fine on your own?" Harry smiles at her, nodding. she pressed a kiss to his cheek and ran off to Zayn.

\---

it's been a month since the performance. not much has changed. Harry still felt bipolar, but the difference between happy and sad became larger. he felt happier more often, walking with his head up high in the school halls, Hozier still filling Harry's ears with his beautiful voice.

Louis became clingier to Harry, he didn't mind it at all. Gemma completely ignored him, as usual. he didn't expect anything else from her. Zayn was still his best friend. the thing is, people didn't treat him differently, they didn't look at him any different apart from nice looks instead of dirty looks. it felt good.

Harry wears more short sleeved shirts, revealing his cuts. he wasn't completely clean, he still has the urge sometimes, but he hasn't been cutting himself for 3 weeks. after the talent show, it overwhelmed Harry and he needed relief, something that grounded him, and that was his last cut for a while.

Louis greeted Harry with a kiss on the cheek, his friends smiling at Harry. "morning," Louis whispers, patting the seat next to him for Harry to sit. Zayn joined them 10 minutes later, giving Harry their usual handshake (nothing special) and told him some funny things.

"remember Perrie from primary?" Zayn asks, staring at his phone. Harry nods, "basically, she held a party for all of her friends from primary school and she didn't even fucking invited us,"

Harry laughs, "why do you care man? it's been 8 years or so!"

"she's fucking fit, Harold, that's why," Zayn showed him a picture of the girl and Harry's eyes widened. "I know right, I'd totally bang her,"

"to be fair, she is quite fit, blonde isn't my type though. just text her," Harry grabbed his food from his backpack and ate the apple. "ask her to invite me as well, would be nice catching up on some old friends,"

Louis is happy that Harry's more outgoing now, he talks to more people apart from Zayn and Louis, he smiles more and sees the fun side of life. Zayn nods.

\--

after a while of thinking and processing everything, Harry moved back into his parents home. Anne was enthusiastic to have her son back, Gemma wanted to puke her guts out, Harry's father was never home, so he couldn't care less. Zayn helped Harry move back, driving behind him with all his stuff.

finally, Harry got his own room on the second floor instead of the messy, dusty attic. Anne suggested turning the attic to Harry's studio for his music, if he wanted to continue on with that path. Harry couldn't say no to that offer, letting his mother spoil him for a second. it felt good. he felt noticed and worthy.

Anne renovated Harry's bedroom, a new bed frame and mattress, a new wardrobe, ensuite bathroom. it felt too good to be true, Harry couldn't be happier. his new bedroom is comfortable. the bed was the same height as the windows so he could look out of them, or smoke in his bed without having to stand up to throw away the bud or the ashes.

it didn't take long to settle back into his home. Harry still felt the unsure feeling in his stomach whenever he walked into the living room. so he stayed in his room most of the time whilst the studio is in progress. Gemma's bedroom is next to his, banging on the wall whenever Harry was playing his music too loud or sang some lyrics he came up with.

he hasn't seen Louis in a while. he's always stuck in his mind and it bothered him. they were nothing serious, Louis could fuck someone else and it shouldn't care for Harry, but Harry is already mad at the thought of someone touching him. Louis didn't respond to his text or calls.

Harry sighed and threw his phone away, tugging on his hair and looking out of the window to the street. he couldn't text Zayn since he's at work. Harry had no one else besides them. he got up from his bed, grabbing his phone from the ground and walked downstairs. he didn't greet his dad coming back from a 3-week business trip and crossed Gemma in the living room. both laid on other sides of the couch, as far as possible.

"Harry, tea?" Harry shakes his head, grabbing the blanket from the basket beside him and threw it over himself for extra comfort. "Gemma, princess, tea, something else?" Harry rolled his eyes. his dad always called Gemma princess. always been his favourite.

"tea with milk please, and some biscuits as well, thank you," Gemma smiled at her dad, loving him to pieces. she was always the centre of attention whenever their dad was home from work. Harry hated his attention so he rather stayed away from him. the second their dad walked away, Gemma opened her mouth, "your boyfriend hasn't been giving you much attention, has he," she grinned.

Harry ignored her, typing on his phone.

to Louis: you there?

"Louis texted me, you know. he's done with you being a creep and having deadly thoughts he didn't want to be associated with. he didn't want to break your cold stone heart so he asked for me to say it."

"you're lying," Harry spat.

he stands up from the couch and running up the stairs. he pulled out his motorcycle clothes and got ready to go to Louis. he doesn't know exactly where he lives, but he knows Gemma has all her friends' addresses written in her notebook. Harry grabbed his helmet from the top of his closet, busting into Gemma's room and running through her drawers.

Harry gagged seeing a vibrator in her drawer, laying on top of her notebook. he rolls his eyes and grabs it, browsing through the data she had written, his eyes scrolling through the letters and sticking to the name Louis William Tomlinson. lovely middle name. Harry types the address into his phone and places the notebook where it was. grabbing his helmet he rushes down the stairs, pulling the helmet over his face in the meanwhile. "where you going darling?" he heard a sweet voice behind him.

"away."

Harry rushed out of the house. he throws his leg over the motor and starts the engine. Anne watched him leave, clutching her heart hoping he doesn't leave again. Harry starts the route to Louis' house and drove away. Gemma was lying. she had to lie. Louis wouldn't do that to him. a few tears flow down his cheeks, disappearing in the stuffing from the helmet to protect his head if he falls.

the drive to Louis house wasn't long. he didn't expect Louis to live in a normal British street, Houses clutched together. he thought Louis was richer than he expected. Harry parks his motor on the sidewalk, pulling his helmet off and walked into the garden to the front door. Harry had to admit, the garden looked lovely. someone in his household loves gardening for sure.

he was welcomed by a middle-aged woman, hair flowing down her shoulder with a nice wave in it, the same facial structure as Louis. "hello there, how can I help you?" she asks politely, cleaning her hands with the cloth she was holding.

"hi, I was wondering if Louis' home? I'm a friend of his, Harry."

the woman nods, "let me get him for you, come in darling, you must be sweating in that suit," she grins, opening the door for Harry to walk in. "my husband loves motorcycles, what kind do you have?"

"it's a Harley Davidson Sportster Iron 883, has been my dream motorcycle since I was little," Harry placed his helmet on the dinner table, unzipping his leather jacket. Louis' mother smiles brightly, walking back into the hallway to call Louis.

"Louis, babes, there's someone here to see you!" she came back, her eyes widening, "oh my lord, I'm so sorry I forgot to introduce myself- I'm Jay, Louis' mother as you already guessed,"

Harry chuckles, "it's fine, ma'am," they shake hands the second Louis walked into the living/kitchen space.

"Harry? what are you doing here?"

Jay watches Louis curiously, "Harry's a gentleman, Dan would be so excited to see his bike, have you seen it?"

Louis nods, eyes focused on Harry, "come, take your helmet with you," Harry follows Louis orders, smiling politely at Jay and walks with Louis up the stairs to his bedroom. "why are you here, Harry?" he asks, closing the door when Harry walked in.

"You were ignoring me for a week, what's going on?"

Louis sighs, taking the helmet from Harry and hangs it on his coatrack. "been busy," he murmured. Harry scoffs, folding his arms over his chest. "I heard you moved back into your parent's house,"

"don't change the subject, Louis. why were you ignoring me, I needed you."

their eyes meet, Harry looking down on Louis. "I don't know, H," Louis whispers. he looks away. Harry sighs, wrapping his arms around Louis but Louis held his arm, "take off your suit, please,"

Harry chuckles, undressing himself to his boxers, "didn't wear anything underneath," Harry apologises, hanging his suit on the coatrack. Louis rolls his eyes pushing Harry on the bed. Louis climbs on his lap, his thighs on both sides of Harry. a smirk forms on Harry's plump lips, resting his healing arms on the curves of Louis' hips.

"I've been ignoring you for a week is because I couldn't get you out of my mind," Louis admits, his fingers curling around Harry's hair. "been thinking about you all the time- I gave you some space to settle into your parents house and getting back in your normal routine, you know,"

Harry nods, his eyes flicking between Louis' eyes and lips, "what if I want you in my normal routine, Louis,"

Louis hums, shifting on Harry's lap that his clothed bum sits right on top of Harry's cock. "I'd let you,"

Louis cups Harry's jaw, making him looking up and aligning their lips together. Louis sat up straight, only his legs supporting him. Harry's hands roam over Louis' body, kneading his bum as their tongues play. Louis' fingers are in Harry's hair, massaging his scalp in the meantime. Harry grabbed Louis tightly by the hips, rolling them over so Harry is on top of him, pushing his abdomen against Louis.

"so unfair you're still clothed," Harry murmurs, his lips ghosting over Louis' neck. Louis bites his lip to hide his moans. Louis grins, taking off his shirt to reveal his beautiful stomach. Harry blows raspberries on his skin, making Louis giggle. Louis reaches for Harry's curls, pulling Harry close to him to connect their lips. Harry unbuttons Louis' tight jeans, pulling it off of him. "you're so gorgeous, Louis, could write hundreds of songs about you,"

a pink blush creeps through Louis' skin. Harry boops Louis' nose, making both of them chuckle. a knock on the door disturbed their moment. "can I come in?" Louis quickly threw the blanket over Harry and he threw on his robe, opening the door. "hi babe, Dan's home and he wanted to know if he could maybe look at the bike more up close?"

Louis turns his face, Harry nodding, "we'll be there in a few," Jay smiles brightly at her son, telling Dan to get ready. "cockblock," Louis murmurs the second Jay leaves.

"raincheck?" Harry chuckles, getting out of bed and pressing a kiss to Louis' lips, pulling his leather trousers back on. Louis nods and sends a wink to Harry. Harry smirks.

both of them are dressed and walked into the living room, seeing Dan staring at the bike out of the window. "would you like something to drink, Hazz?" Louis offers, making some tea for himself.

"water, thanks,"

two preteens ran into the kitchen to the living room, cashing each other. "no running in the livingroom darlings!" Dan warns, facing Harry. "I'm guessing you're the bike's owner?"

Harry nods with a smile, holding his hand out, "Harry, a pleasure to meet you,"

"Dan, lovely bike you have, Sportster Iron?"

Harry nods, "883cc out of 2009, 247 kg," Harry proudly says.

"she's heavy for a 2009 bike," Dan eyes' widened.

"you get used to it after a while, I still struggle sometimes going backwards but she's amazing,"

Louis handed him his water, thanking Louis by pinching his hip. Louis squeals against Harry, leaning against him playfully. "when did you started riding, how old are you?"

"I'm 20 so I haven't been riding that long, got my license at 17, cheated my way through," Harry jokes. "my parents gave me the bike for my 18th birthday after many years of begging,"

Dan nods, chuckling. "it's a beautiful bike, an old pal of my had one like yours in mid 90's, of course yours is a lot younger,"

Harry nods, folding his arms over each other, leaning against the wall. "I might get a new one and sell this one, I've been holding my eye out for some bikes for a while now and test driving, my current bike is getting old for a 2009 bike and the maintenance is getting more frequent. I know how to work with tools but I'm still in school and I can't just fix it on the way to school if it breaks down,"

Dan agrees, "my brother, Louis' uncle, runs an engineers shop and sells bikes that they've upgraded, you can sell yours to his when you get a new one," he offers. Harry hums, thanking Dan for the offer and he told him he'd think about it.

"well, I'm gonna steal Harry from you all, we have to discuss some homework things," Louis grabs Harry's hand and smiles innocently at his parents, dragging Harry up the stairs. Harry chuckles, slapping Louis on his bum. Louis pushes Harry into his room to the wall, pressing his lips against his. Harry grins, "careful baby," he pushes the door closed with his foot, focussing on the boy in front of him.

"we're not gonna have sex whilst you're parents are downstairs, are we?" Harry reminds Louis. Louis rolls his eyes, "what do you think, our first time?" Louis chuckles, slapping Harry across the chest. Harry chuckles, grabbing Louis' hands from where he was slapped and held them close to his, Louis hand right over Harry's heart.

"doesn't mean I can't suck you off," Louis hums, pressing kisses down Harry's neck, biting onto his collarbone. Harry bites his lip to hold back a moan, his hands roaming over Louis' gorgeous body. Louis fingers the zip of Harry's bike suit, the zip going from his neck to his pelvis. Louis slowly unzips the suit, Harry wearing just a shirt and boxers underneath. Louis grabs ahold of the necklace Harry always wears, toying with it.

Harry steps out of his suit, throwing it over the stool next to him and attacks Louis' neck and shoulders, marking his boy up like a toy. Louis fights back a moan, grabbing ahold of Harry's babycurls on the back of his neck, tugging on them. his other hand roams over Harry's back, his nails digging into the skin. Harry sucks on Louis skin like a pacifier, not ever getting enough. his dick was tenting in his boxers, obvious that he's rock hard for Louis. Louis felt Harrys aching cock against his thigh, Harry rutting against it to get some friction.

Louis got on his knees and cups Harry's dick through the material, getting a grip of the size. "how long are you?" Louis' eyes are widened, looking up at Harry. his chest is heavy and his cheeks are slightly flushed. his curls are a mess and falling in front of his eyes. "10. inches." Harry smirks. Louis' mouth slightly agapes. "can you take that, baby?"

Louis huffs, of course he can. he pulls down Harry's boxers, his cock jumping free and slapping against Harry's stomach. it almost reached up to Harry's bellybutton. Louis takes a deep breath and cups Harry's dick, only half covered by his hand. Harry's thick and heavy in Louis' hands, two veins running up the tip. the tip is beautifully red, Louis wanting to suck it like a lollipop. so he did. he takes the tip in his mouth, his throat already so full. he sucks on the tip, his lips tight around Harry and he tongues the slit. Harry's eyes roll behind his lids, grabbing ahold of Louis' hair, guiding Louis through.

Louis takes more of Harry down his throat, only halfway before he chokes. the part that couldn't fit into his mouth anymore, he covers with his hands, moving up and down together. Harry moans lowly into his throat, his fingers curling in Louis' hair. "fuck baby, you're so good," Harry preaches, looking down to Louis taking him down like a good boy. Louis looked so fucked out already, just from sucking Harry. he imagines taking Louis from behind, how fucked he'd look after that. his knees buckle in response of Louis licking his slit. sucking up the precum. "so good, baby- look up to me," Louis did what he was told, his eyes shining from the tears of choking on Harry's dick. Harry moans shamelessly at the look, his chest tightening. Louis could sense the tension from Harry, cupping his balls and rolling them in his hands. Harry groans, his head falling. a broken moan leaves Harry's body, his knees buckle and his stomach tightens as he comes down Louis throat without a warning.

Louis chokes on it, but swallows it down like a champion, licking Harry clean and sucking a bit longer on Harry's tip. Harry's chest is going up and down rapidly, cupping Louis' cheek and caressing the boys cheekbone. Louis lets go of Harry's cock, standing up. "you're incredible," Harry whispers, pressing their lips together. he could taste himself on Louis' tongue. "do you want me to take care of you?" Harry asks, his lips ghosting over Louis' neck, nipping at the already bruised skin. Louis shakes his head, unable to speak. Harry hums, "wrote a new song, you know?"

Louis looks up at Harry with wonder, "did you really?" Harry nods, smiling at Louis. "what's it about?" Louis asks, handing Harry his boxers so and guiding them to his bed so they can cuddle. Harry shrugs, letting himself fall on Louis' bed. Louis crawls up to Harry, sitting on his lap. "I wanna know!"

Harry chuckles, "the only thing you'll get to know that its called Falling," Louis pouts, his hands leaning on Harry's chest, putting his weight on his hands and pressing a kiss on Harry's lips. "it's a song about loneliness and emptiness and how my brain works,"

Louis hums, laying his head in Harry's neck, "am I ever going to hear it?" he asks, toying with Harry's necklace. Harry shrugs, "maybe,"

it began to grow dark and Harry was still at Louis'. his phone was on silent, all of his mothers text ignored. Harry didn't care, he lived in the moment, the moment with Louis. Harry is massaging Louis' scalp who is asleep on Harry's chest. his snores were almost silent, more like little huffs every now and then. Harry found it adorable. Louis snuggled deeper into Harry's chest, his fingers gripping Harry's necklace. Harry reached out for his phone that was still buried in his suit. luckily the stool where his suit was thrown over is only in hand reach, grabbing his phone out of the suit.

80 messages, 28 from Anne, 4 from Zayn and a the rest from old friends and chats that he was thrown in.

-party this Saturday, Perrie's coming 😏😏 are you coming, you can bring Louis with you?

-Perrie just followed me on Instagram, took down all my ugly pictures, so a few of us went down... hope you're okay with that haha

-lol never mind they're back up again, I'm a strong man

-are you fucking or drunk?

-I'm at Louis', fell asleep on me and my phone was out of reach.

-oooo at Louis' I see 😏😏

-lol no, his parents are home.

-dammit, you coming?

-I'll see, maybe Lou has some plans for this weekend, idk.

it's been a month and a half since Louis and Harry started 'talking', well eyeing each other from afar. their first interactions, in the music room where Harry finished writing Creep. people have been begging ever since to hear Creep more often. a record label even reached out to Harry to release the song into the wild. Harry turned them down, he wants to keep it for himself and his Louis only.

it is around 9 when a knock interrupted the comfortable silence between Louis and Harry. Harry's eyes are on the door as it opens, revealing the older woman. his hands are behind his back, Louis still sound asleep on his chest. "is Louis asleep?" Jay whispers. Harry nods, looking down to Louis. "it's a little past 9, do you have to be home at a certain time?"

Harry shakes his head, "I'll leave when Louis wakes," he promises Jay. she nods with a smile, closing the door behind her. Harry could hear the wood beneath Jays feet creaking as she walks down the stairs. a few minutes later loud noises came from the hallway. probably Louis' sisters getting ready to go to bed. the yelling between Louis' sisters arguing about who used who's toothbrush wakens Louis from his sleep. Louis grumbles under his breath, wiping his dry lips as he lifts his head up, meeting Harry's eyes. "hi baby,"

"did I fell asleep?" Louis asks, looking at his surroundings. its pitch black. Harry nods, pushing Louis' fringe out of his eyes. "only for a few hours, its past 9," Louis nods. his sisters are loudly screaming in the hallway, Jay trying to shush them for Louis' sake. "promised your mum to go once you wake up,"

Louis' pouts, "will I see you tomorrow at school?" Harry nods with a smile, cupping Louis' cheeks and pressing their lips together. "I'll miss you,"

"I'll miss you more, baby,"

Louis allows Harry to get out of bed, feeling cold and lonely when Harry isn't there to hold him anymore. Harry pulls his suit on and grabs his phone from the nightstand, replying to his mum 4 hours late. Louis looks tired and about to fall asleep again, fighting with himself to stay awake. Harry chuckles in awe at him, bending down to press a soft kiss to his cheekbone. "you stay in bed, baby, I'll let myself out,"

Louis nods, reaching out for Harry's hand, "thank you for today," he whispers. Harry smiles brightly at him, his fingers combing through Louis' hair. "thank you," Harry whispers back, pressing one last kiss to Louis' cheek. Harry stands up and opens the door, two little kids running down the hallway to their shared bedroom. Harry waves at Louis, getting one in return and closes the door again.

Jay was stood in the bathroom, next to the staircase, in her pj's brushing her teeth. Harry smiles at her, "good night, ma'am," Harry bid her goodbye and walked down the stairs, pulling his helmet on and closing the front door behind him. Harry got on his bike and started the engine, driving off to his house.

Jay sneaks into Louis' bedroom, closing the door behind her and makes her way to Louis' bed, sitting on the edge. Louis hums at the feeling of new weight on his bed, "Hazz?" he mumbles, rubbing his eyes before opening them. Jay. "mum," Jay smiles, caressing Louis' cheek.

"he's a good boy," she whispers. a smile creeps on Louis' lips, nodding in agreement. "I never thought you'd come back with a boy that drives a bike, is filled with tattoos and has curly brown hair and dimples." Louis giggles, turning on his back with his hands behind his head. "does he treat you good?"

Louis nods, "we've been kind of dating for a month now, we haven't put a label on it or anything, I think it'll be to quickly for Harry,"

Jay hums, "I want you to be careful" pressing a kiss to Louis' temple before leaving his bedroom and closing the door behind him. Louis grabs his phone, sending a text to Harry.

wanted to let you know I love spending time with you outside school, like today. see you tomorrow x

Harry wasn't online since he came to Louis at around 4PM. his profilepicture is one with Zayn and him at some party. he doesn't have a bio. WhatsApp was just a way to send information to each other for Harry, not to have a long chat with and text bullshit. he wasn't so keen on social media, as Louis predicted.

see you tomorrow baby, goodnight. x

it was the fastest reply from Harry ever. Louis smiles at his screen. his face freezes when Harry's profile picture changed, a photo of him, and him only. its a portrait, probably taken by Zayn since he wants to become a professional photographer.

lovely picture of you Hazza x

Harry read it the second Louis sent it, leaving him on read. its normal for him to do that. Louis and Harry already had a small conflict about it, Louis thinking Harry wasn't interested in him cause he couldn't keep up a chat on WhatsApp, turns out Harry just doesn't use his phone often and forgets to take it with him. Louis has accepted that Harry doesn't text or just leaves the message on read, but Harry promised Louis to try and respond.

thank you.

that was enough for Louis, smiling at the screen and keeping it close to his chest, falling asleep just like that. a picture of Harry against his heartbeat.

Harry found himself on his bed scrolling through flats in London quite often now. don't get him wrong, he loves being back home again, eating breakfast and dinner with his family, apart from Gemma being there as well. but he feels old enough to go live on his own. he's mature enough, he doesn't need anyone watching over him or make rules. he has visited some flats as well for the last two weeks, two of them quite in his liking.

he hasn't even told Zayn about possibly moving out and living on his own, which is a big thing. Zayn thinks Harry isn't stable enough to be living on his own. no one can check up on him, so no one will know if Harry has the urge again. they've been through that discussion before, when Harry wanted to move out when he just turned 18.

even though Harry has been feeling great, he knows he can snap back into his depression like a finger snap. he's still bipolar even when he has it mainly under control. he hasn't cut himself for 3 weeks now. he's close to breaking his record of being clean. he hasn't reached a month without having the urge in his entire life, he's ready to break that record and stay clean as long as he possibly can.

Harry closes the website and lays his laptop on the other side of his bed, where Louis' supposed to sleep, and Harry falls asleep with Louis in his mind.

Louis and Harry have been clingy in school as well as outside of school, always together between their breaks. Harry always has his arm around Louis' middle, letting everyone know Louis' is his, even though they're not even official. Louis doesn't mind, he loves Harry's attention. people have been spreading rumours ever since Louis and Harry have been showing public affection towards each other. people think Harry is just there for Louis' reputation, wanting people to think differently of Harry just because he hangs out with Louis.

people think Louis has fallen into Harry's trap for thinking he's normal and no creep.

but they don't care, they're happy together. Harry has been happy for 2 months now. ever since he met Louis in the music room. they've been dating for a month and a half, just after the talent show. Harry has broken his record of being clean, currently clean for 67 days. Louis has been such great support to Harry.

Harry is currently outside smoking. after he quit self harming he has been finding other things to keep his mind off of wandering, smoking was one of them. besides smoking he and Louis were sexual active. Harry has taken Louis' virginity and he was so blessed to be Louis' first. he knows no one can ever please Louis better than Harry himself. he's been hostile with everyone that came close to Louis that has intentions of doing things with Louis.

Louis doesn't join him on his smoke breaks during the lunches, always with his friends at their usual place in the cafeteria. Zayn was always with Harry though, so Harry didn't mind if Louis didn't tag along. "so, almost 70 days clean, a party to celebrate?" Zayn brought up, lighting up the fag and holding it between his lips. Harry chuckles, "you want to celebrate it every 10 days, 70 is just like 60 and 50, no need to celebrate,"

Zayn sighs dramatically, "but you've come so far, Hazz, who would've thought that you were almost 70 days clean and almost in a relationship, not me," Harry nods with a knowing look, looking down at the fag between his fingers.

"I'll celebrate a party when I'm 100 days clean, how about that?"

they shook hands for that. Harry was minding his own business smoking when someone walked up to them, asking Harry for a fag. Harry politely gives him one and his lighter. the pal thanks him and lights it, giving the lighter back as he sucks into the stub. "seen you pals always during the lunches smoking, so I thought why not join," he chuckles, inspecting the fag. "what kind is it?"

"Higgs, cannabis, only a few grams, nothing bad," Harry tells him.

"aren't they only sold in California?" the guy asks, inhaling the cannabis. Harry nods, but doesn't elaborate any further. "so what are your names?" he asks, standing on his tippy-toes. Harry rolls his eyes, grabbing his earbuds from his back-pocket and untangles them, his fag between his lips as he slowly inhales the cannabis. Harry puts one in his ear, putting on Hozier.

"I'm Zayn and that's Harry, are you new or something?" Zayn asks, keeping Harry in eye-sight.

the guy nods, "I'm Ethan, I just transferred, my parents got a job nearby- does he not like me?" Ethan asks, pointing his fag towards Harry who was minding his own business, kicking at nothing.

Zayn shakes his head, "he likes to be on his own when smoking," Zayn informed. "only his boyfriend and I are allowed to be with him, don't take it to heart," Ethan nods, looking at Harry. 

"he's gay?"

Zayn nods again, inhaling the last bit of his fag before stamping on it, kicking it to the wall of the school. "so am I, what a coincidence!"

Zayn chuckles bitterly, checking if Harry was finished smoking, only to light a new one. Harry put on his beanie and sunglasses, both earbuds in his ear and one of his hands in his pockets. Zayn excuses himself from Ethan and walks up to Harry, laying a hand on his shoulder and squeezing it, "you okay, bro?"

Harry nods but doesn't look at Zayn, staring at the distance. he inhales a big breath of cannabis, letting it burn for a few seconds before blowing out the smoke. "I'm okay, no worries, man," Harry smiles forcefully at Zayn. Zayn nods slowly.

"is it the new dude?"

Harry shakes his head, "just let me be for a few minutes, okay?" Zayn nods with knitted eyebrows. Harry smiles reassuring at his friend and walks off into the distance. Ethan quickly came to disturb Zayn.

"whats up with him man, he really doesn't like interacting with people, does he?"

Zayn ignores Ethan and grabs his phone, calling Louis, "hey Lou, I think you should come down." Louis doesn't hesitate and grabs his bag from the ground, excusing himself from his friends and rushing off to Zayn and Harry's usual smoking spot.

Louis frowns as he sees a guy talking to Zayn and Harry's gone, "Zayn, where's Harry?" Louis asks, holding onto the strap of his bag. "walked off," Zayn pointed at Harry who was stood underneath the roof of the bike garage. Louis nods and thanks Zayn, walking off to Harry.

"that Harry's boyfriend?"

Zayn nods, "well, almost boyfriends, they're pretty official to me, though," they watch Harry and Louis hugging from afar.

"whats up, babe?" Louis asks, tugging on Harry's earbuds, the music leaving Harry's ear. Harry sighs deeply. Louis tugs on Harry's coat, looking at Harry through his sunglasses. "c'mon, what has gotten into you?"

Harry shrugs, throwing his halfway finished fag to wrap his hands around Louis' waist, pulling him close. Louis lays his head on Harry's chest, "been feeling shit, I don't know why," Harry mumbles out, staring out into the distance. Louis hums against his chest. "like I've felt so happy the past months but lately everything gets on my nerve. like I couldn't even fucking stand that new pal when he joined us and asked me for a fag."

Louis' eyebrows are knitted together, "urge, maybe?" Harry shakes his head, "my arms don't burn like I want to open them, I can't place it." Louis escapes from Harry's hold, slowly pulling off Harry's sunglasses to reveal his big pupils.

"you're stoned?"

Harry shrugs, "sober enough to talk seriously with you,"

Louis nods. he closes the sunglasses and hides them in Harry's coat pocket. "well lunch is about to end, have you eaten?" Harry nods, his head resting on Louis'. Louis snuggles close to Harry. "want me to sleep at yours tonight?"

"please,"

Zayn and Ethan watch Harry and Louis make out for a few seconds before the bell rings. Zayn throws away the stub and waits for Harry to come down. "what class do you have now?" Ethan asks.

"PE with Harry,"

Ethan nods with a smile, "so do I! guess we have a similar schedule," Zayn hums, not quite impressed. Harry sends a tight smile to Zayn as they came closer, Louis under Harry's arm. Louis presses a kiss to Harry's jaw, not reaching any higher, since Harry is 8 inches taller than Louis. "you two look good together," Ethan dares to say, his eyes shining.

Louis thanks the boy and hands Harry down to Zayn, "run that stress out of you during PE, alright babe? text me after?" Harry nods, pressing a long and loving kiss to Louis' lips.

"I won't forget this time,"

Louis giggles, slapping him across the chest. he says goodbye to Zayn and the new boy and runs off to his class, none of his classes match with Harry's, which sucks, but at least their lunches do. Harry, Zayn and Ethan head to the gyms and head into the changing rooms, Harry claiming his usual corner spot, pulling his shirt shamelessly off. Ethan watches Harry take off his clothes and the scars are revealed. Harry didn't care, he was somewhat proud of them.

"you coming over tonight?" Zayn reminds Harry, slapping him on his shoulder. Harry looks at him, frowned. "we planned to watch the new StarWars, dude,"

"fuck- Louis is coming over to sleep at mine, raincheck?" Harry didn't like cancelling plans nor forgetting them. "I'm really sorry, man,"

Zayn shakes his head, "why don't you bring Louis with you, you can take him with the bike?" he offers. Harry shrugs, "I'll ask Louis when he's free." Zayn nods, smiling at Harry. "or I'll come to yours?"

"we'll go to yours if Louis' okay with it,"

PE was refreshing to Harry. he was ramming on the boxing balls for a good hour when the coach asked them to make teams of two to do some duo training. Ethan reached out for Harry asking them to be partners. Harry looked at Zayn, who was teamed up with someone else. Harry nods, eyes focused on the coach and his buff arms crossed. Ethan stares at the scars and ink scattered around his showing skin. "don't stare," Harry snaps. Ethan's eyes widened and looks at the coach.

during PE, Harry got distracted by a voice. he looks around but no one was calling him. Harry shakes the thoughts off and focusses back on the activity they're doing. the voice was distant, a soft voice reaching out for Harry. "I'll be back in 5 min," Harry excuses himself and rushes off to the changing rooms, grabbing the water bottle from his bagpack and running it down his face.

the voice was now screaming, Harry tugging on his hair and pacing through the room. the voice was ordering him to do stuff, calling out and reaching out for a blade. Harry shakes his head, chanting no's and letting himself fall on the benches. he hides his face in his palms trying to fight the voice in his head. he can't call Louis, he's making a test right now and can't be bothered. he wasn't able to call for Zayn, his mind focused on the voice. Harry is now growling, his face getting red from the energy he's putting into fighting back, his toes and fingers curling that they turn white. Harry throws with his backpack, throwing it against the wall and causing a scene.

someone rushes into the rooms and squeals at the boy who is fighting himself. "coach!" he calls and runs back to the room, getting Zayns attention as well. Zayn lets go off his stuff and runs like crazy to the changing room. Harry was screaming now, tugging so hard on his hair and curled up into a ball in the corner of the room. "harry," Zayn calls for him and getting on his knees. "you're doing so good," tears stream down Harry's red face, there's saliva all over his mouth and chin from breathing so heavy and trying to get the voice out of his head. "scream if you need to, H, let it all go," he holds Harry's knees and squeeze them, people towering over them.

Harry started screaming in his hands. Zayn nods, rubbing Harry's wet back from the sweat he has created. "you're doing so good Harry, gosh, so so good," Zayn reminded Harry. Harry was boiling hot, reaching out to scratch his arms to open his old scars. Zayn quickly got ahold of them and intertwines their fingers, Harry squeezes his hands so tightly that he almost breaks Zayn's hand. Zayn didn't care.

"water," Harry spits out, holding his face up to look at the ceiling. "someone get water," Zayn orders with a stern face. Ethan quickly reaches out for water handing it to Zayn. Zayn opens the bottle and wets Harrys face and neck. Harry breaths out, his face turning back to normal slowly but steady. Zayn lets go off Harry's hands, wetting Harry's body to cool off. "almost there, H," Zayn whispers. Harry's sight recollects, seeing the people crowding Zayn and Harry. some even had their phones out to film the entire scene, some people chanted "Self-Harmy,", his nickname for the past few years.

"people," Harry breaths out. Zayn nods, ordering people to leave the damn room. Ethan and the coach stayed until Harry calmed down. Harry gains some strength again and lets his head fall again, rubbing his eyes.

"you okay?" Zayn asks, his hand on the back of Harry's neck. he was back to normal temperature. Harry nods. "so proud of you, H, Jesus,"

Harry breaths steadily in and out, trying to get his breathing in order. Harry looks up at Zayn and sends a reassuring look at Zayn. "you're okay," Zayn reminds him. Harry nods again, holding his hand out. Zayn grabs it and squeezes Harrys hand, standing up and pulling Harry with him. Harry shakes his head, fixing himself and letting out a long breath. he's himself again. "thank you," Harry whispers. Zayn nods, grabbing the junction between Harry's neck and shoulder, squeezing it.

"what was that?" the coach asks, checking up on Harry.

"Harry has trouble with urge attacks as we like to call them. he has been almost 70 days clean of self-harm," Zayn informs the coach. Ethan's eyes widen and his mouth agapes. the coach was in shock, telling Harry he's doing good. "he has never been clean for this long- I'm very fucking proud of you H,"

Harry nods, "I should head home," he tells more himself, grabbing his bag from the other side of the room. he has received some messages from Louis, telling him his test went well and has a good feeling. Harry texts him back that he's proud of him.

Harry changes into his regular clothes and gives Zayn a hug before heading home.

PE has ended and Zayn was looking for Louis, who still had an hour class. he finds the room Louis' in and knocks on the door, interrupting the lecture. he heads in and his eyes shot to Louis, who sat in the back of the class. "can I maybe take Louis for a few minutes?" the professor sighs but nods. Louis frowns and walks to Zayn.

"whats up?"

"Harry had a massive attack just an hour ago. he has never been like that before."

Louis' was speechless, frozen in his position. "what happened?"

Zayn shrugs, "Harry had an off day, we could tell, but during PE he was so easily distracted and rushed out not long after, a kid ran to the coach that Harry was not himself, so I rushed to him and Harry was fighting himself what it looked like."

"what happened after?"

"he was tugging on his hair like crazing, wanting to somewhat hurt himself. he was red all over and sweating so badly, his entire body was on fire, he couldn't breath normally and he was crying, man... it took him more than 30 minutes to get back,"

Louis' eyes teared up, "where is he now?"

"home, Anne's with him,"

Louis nods, "did he act normal before he left?"

"yeah, its not like he left in his episode, I guess,"

Louis went back to his class and impatiently sitting there for another hour. he texted his mother that he'll go straight to Harry's house after he gets out of school. as soon as the bell rings he rushes out of the building, getting on the bus that brings him to Harry's station close to his house. he texted Harry that he's on his way, not surprising that he doesn't reply.

Louis arrived at the Styles' residence and greets Anne, excusing himself and races up the flights of stairs. he silently knocks on Harrys door and opens it, slowly opening it. Louis sighs in relief when he sees a sleeping Harry on the bed, spread out over the bed. Louis lets his bag fall next to Harry's, kicking off his shoes and climbing in bed with Harry. Harry hums, pulling Louis close to him and nosing Louis' neck. "I love you," Louis whispers in Harry's ear and hugs Harry back, falling asleep a few minutes later.

Harrys episodes came more frequently the longer he stayed clean. he was 89 days clean now, almost three months and the summer is on their doorstep. Zayn promised Harry if he hit the 100th day of no self-harm, they'd go on a vacation to Harry's choice of destination. he was fighting his way there, wanting to leave this hell hole so badly and escape for real. Harry hasn't been on a vacation for years, close to ten years.

Louis slept over almost every day of the week, Jay not quite impressed with it. she is still hesitant on Harry, especially after the video was leaked of Harrys episode during PE. of course she didn't want to see Harry nor Louis hurt, but it did hurt Louis, obviously it hurt him. the Tomlinson family is planning their vacation trip as well, going to France like always. Louis' grandfather owns a big land house in the middle of the mountains in France.

Louis and Jay had a fight about Louis not wanting to go this year, since they always go and Louis now has a boyfriend. Jay won the argument, using the excuse that Louis is still underaged. Harry didn't take the announcement well. Louis will be away on the day that Harry will be 100 days clean, wanting nothing but to celebrate it with Louis. but he can't.

they spend the last few days together, in each others arms. "remember when I told you about that song, Falling?" Louis nods, his finger curling around Harry's hair. "I want you to hear it," Louis doesn't bat an eye, but he wants to. he has been so eager to hear it, but he kept quiet, not wanting to push the older lad into doing things he's not comfortable with.

"only if you're comfortable with it,"

Harry nods, turning on his back and Louis crawls up to him, laying his head on Harry's stomach. Harry started singing softly,

"I'm in my bed

And you're not here

And there's no one to blame but the blade and my wandering hands

Forget what I said

It's not what I meant

And I can't take it back, I can't unpack the baggage you left"

Louis' eyes started to hurt from the lack of blinking. he was so in shock with the words coming out of Harrys mouth as he continues singing.

"And I get the feeling that you'll never need me again

What am I now? What am I now?  
What if you're someone I just want around?  
I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm fallin'  
What if I'm down? What if I'm out?  
What if I'm someone you won't talk about?  
I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm fallin'"

Louis and Harry stayed quiet. Harry breathing heavy in and out. Louis swallows the lump in his throat. "I love you," Louis' voice breaks mid way. Harry looked up at the ceiling, the words repeating in his head. someone loves him. Louis loves him. tears started to form in Harry's eyes, soon after he started sobbing. Louis immediately reaches out to Harry, completely covering Harry and hiding his face in Harry's neck.

"I love you too," Harry whispers back, his fingers combing through Louis' hair. Louis nods in his chest, making sure he heard it.

@Louist95: never ever have I experienced love before. when you know, you just know. you feel like your heart can burst because its so full of love, wanting nothing but to express your feelings towards your beloved ones. today my baby hit the 100 day mark of being clean. there's such a big difference between the boy I met in the music room and the man you are today. you felt so sad and wanting to hurt yourself, having panic attacks daily and crying every day in Zayn's arm. now you're open to the world, showing your skin that tells how much of a wonderful and strong man you are. you're smiling, you're happy, and you're loved. I love you x yours x 

Louis tried to get ahold of Harry for a few days, guessing he is on vacation with Zayn like he promised when Harry hit the 100 day mark

Louis tried to get ahold of Harry for a few days, guessing he is on vacation with Zayn like he promised when Harry hit the 100 day mark. after getting in touch with Zayn questioning if Harry was with him, Zayn got bad news. Harry was no where to be found, Louis freaking out and trying to reach for Harry, but got nowhere close.

Louis tried calling Anne and even Gemma and Desmond, but none of them didn't know either. Louis is at the point of breaking down, until he got a relieving message from Harry.

Harry🥰: on the bike, phones silent. sorry I missed your calls. no need to worry about me. have a fun and relaxing vacation, baby.

Louis heart was still racing that he's scared it'll give up any time due to overuse. luckily Harrys okay. as fair Louis knows. Louis has been texting Zayn all day for any updates on Harry. it was turning dark, although in England its an hour earlier than in France. it was passing up to 11 in the night, sun behind the mountains and moon rising. he hasn't heard from Harry for 10 hours. he knows Harry enjoys morning tours, when the air is still soft and sun not as bright nor warm. wearing a leather suit from toe to shoulders is very sweaty, Harry has told.

as Louis is ready to go to bed, his phone lit up, notifying that Harry has send him a message. Louis frowns, an audio message. Harry has never sent one and it made Louis feel uneasy. he props up on his shoulders, his phone in his hands as he untangles his earbuds to listen to the audio. he sees Harry has immediately gone offline after he sent the audio.

the audio was 2 minutes long, probably only 30 seconds worth of actual context since Harry talks like a turtle. finally Louis has untangled his earbuds and puts it on max volume, starting the audio.

"hey baby, I hope you're enjoying your time off in the mountains of France. Zayn promised me a vacation when I hit my mark, but I decided to leave for a bit, hence why I haven't been replying to you as much as you like. I can't text and drive, especially on my bike. don't worry about me,"

Harry sounded hesitant and in a hurry, like he's doing something that he isn't supposed to do. Louis didn't like it one bit. he sent the audio forward to Zayn, hoping he had some more useful answers. Louis didn't bother replying to Harry, since he probably will let them on read or won't even read them at all.

Zayn: I've called Anne and she said Harry was on his way to mine to go on vacation together...

Zayn: I'm gonna grab my car and try to find him, dunno where he went and he doesn't have his location turned on. I'll get back to you and don't worry, don't let it take you over!

Louis sighs out with a tremble in his lip. he pulls on his hair and lets himself fall on his back, looking at the ceiling. Harry was planning something and Louis and Zayn didn't like it one bit.

Zayn has been trying to locate Harry for 4 days now, Harry completely swept off the map. Jay has attempted to calm Louis down for million times now, Louis just bursting out of tears for the countless of times that day. Zayn and Louis were both so fucked up because of Harry. he had no idea what an impact it made on his loved ones, Louis and Zayn. Anne is still convinced he's away with Zayn, having the time of his life. maybe Harry was having the time of his life in god knows where. Louis is going crazy, sitting by the poolside on a plastic lounge chair tugging on his hair and constantly checking his phone even though his sound was on max notifying him if there was any messages popping up. his anxiety was never been this active, the constant of heart racing, his pulse throbbing with nerves and the fear of losing someone you dearly love.

Harry has been doing so incredibly well, he was so happy and content. he loved life. maybe he wasn't used to it and wanted to go back to what it was beforehand. maybe he wanted to escape for real this time. Louis was drowning in his own mind. he could hear an engine coming towards them from miles away. they're in the middle of the mountains, no one around them but just them. Louis waited for the engine to stop, hearing the bell ring. Jay was ready to get the door, but seeing Louis race to the door made her frown.

Louis opens the door and shocks to see Zayn. "what is up? where's Harry?" Louis asks. his heart is racing and he's behind the door, scared of what Zayn will say. Zayn swallows, asking him to let himself. Louis nods intensify and invited him in, asking him for a drink. Zayn shakes his head and asks for a quiet place. Louis and Zayn head up to his bedroom. "please, what is up with Harry," Louis begs, plopping on his bed and hugging the pillow with one of Harrys sweaters on it, the closest Louis' get to cuddling Harry.

"Harry was spotted,"

Louis frowns, "spotted where?"

"in the woods, in Ireland. we've got in contact with the police and they've looked at thousands of security footages. Harry has driven all the way from London to Donegal, in 4 days."

"what is Harry supposed to do in Donegal?"

Zayn looks away, "Donegal is known for having the highest cliffs to water, almost 2000 feet high, Lou,"

Louis' eyes widens. "why is Harry there?"

Zayn shrugs, "we've informed the police and they're keeping an eye on the security cameras there if Harrys in town there. they've already informed us that he's indeed there, a man saw him at a patrol station filling his bike with gas, close to Irvinstown, which is still like 30 miles away. I didn't want to tell you over the phone, my parents aren't far away from you so I wanted to visit them when I wanted to tell you that,"

"thank you,"

Louis' phone went off. Zayn and Louis' eyes lock. its a photo Harry sent of Slieve League, the cliffs Zayn was talking about. the message under it said,

'guess you can fink that off the bucket list! on my way to the Aran Islands, ferry and everything. hope you're enjoying your vacation as much as I am x'

"he's not in Donegal to jump off that highest cliff, Zayn, he's road tripping for gods sake!" Louis throws his phone away and sighs out deeply. he lets his head fall in his hands, tugging on his hair. "I've been on edge for so many days now, not close even enjoying one bit of my vacation because of worrying of Harry! and he's just living his life, enjoying it like I am supposed to do!"

Zayn pouts, "I'm sorry- I overreact a lot when it comes to Harry and going away on his own..."

Louis nods in his hands, agreeing with Zayn, "he's 20, he's allowed to go leave and not having to tell anyone, he's an adult, older than the both of us, Zayn, we're not supposed to be on his nose for his entire life,"

Louis grabs his phone from the ground and replies to Harry.

'I'm glad you're enjoying your travel, Hazz x'

Harry comes online the second Louis' reply, 'been picking up on some songwriting as well. these mountains and the ocean is clearing my head in a positive way. I think it helps me a lot.'

Louis' in awe, pouting at his phone. he decides to call Harry. Harry picks up immediately and Louis is met with waves crashing in the background, "hey baby," Harry greets the boy, sounding a lot more relieved and calm.

Louis wipes away his tears and greets Harry back, "are you at the ocean?" Louis asks, looking at Zayn who's begging to put it on speaker. Louis did. Harry hums, "yeah, packed a tent with me and I'm currently camping at the Slieve League. bike has to cool off a bit after a long travel," Harry chuckles, looking at the sunset.

Louis hums, "why didn't you tell me you were going away? you told Anne you were going away with Zayn..." Louis tries to argue. he could Harry groan on the other side of the line. "I know you don't like us snooping but don't blame us for worrying Harry."

"I get that-" Harry was silent for a bit, "I didn't reach the 100 days, so I felt like I needed to escape from myself and the ocean was the only thing that I thought that will keep calm,"

Louis chokes on his own breath, "you didn't reach the 100 days? what happened?"

Harry sighs, "the day you posted that photo on your Instagram, I opened my previous cuts, but I'm okay now- that's what matters. this travel has made me clear my mind, if I'm honest. I hope it keeps on doing that as I continue on. want to go to Cork and St Abbs and than go back with the ferry to Fishguard, going back home."

Louis smiles, "I love how you thought about it like that, H. you've been keeping me on edge for a couple of days actually, said nothing at all, but I'm glad you're enjoying yourself,"

Harry chuckles, "I sure am. best decision I made so far, with making it official with you, of course."

Louis' cheeks heated up, "oh stop that you sap- I'm gonna go, it's almost midnight here, you go and enjoy yourself, babe, keep me more updated, okay? I love seeing those pictures of your travels."

Harry hums, "will do, baby. good night, love you,"

"love you,"

another week has passed and Harry had been living his best life. he loves the ocean, considering moving to Bristol as well. the waves clear his mind from awful things. ever since he was met with the waves hitting the rocks, he never had the urge to hurt himself. sometimes he was stood on the edge of the cliffs, looking at the thousands of feet down beneath him. he was scared to fall down and maybe die. it was a positive thing that changed in his mind. the fear of death.

Harry was back in London when Louis' still in France. Louis couldn't wait to go back home and go back to Harry. he missed the boy so much. Louis and Harry have been texting all day, surprising Louis. Harry was never the type to talk much on social media, but his trip through Ireland made him think differently and in a different perspective, making him more responsive with text.

Louis enjoyed the last few days of his vacation, knowing Harry loved his trip, made Louis feel incredible. he joined his sisters to a village, shopping and just being with his family. it did him good. he's on his way back home now, a car filled with 8 people, Louis cramped into the side of the car and almost hugging the door. they drive to the airport to fly them back to London, Heathrow, where Louis' nan will pick them up and drive them back to their house.

their flight was cancelled, meaning they'll get home for another and Louis won't see Harry till another day. they had to sleep in the airport, their new flight at 8 in the morning, it being 10PM now. Louis had no energy left to stay any longer on the airport, wanting to go home so badly and see his boyfriend that he hasn't seen for two full weeks. Harry has offered to stay up all night to accompany Louis through his night, but Louis denied it. he wanted Harry to have a good night off sleep and the time to go by faster till they meet.

everything in the airport was closed at 3 AM, the whole family living on just a bottle of water, an apple and some leftover scraps from yesterdays dinner. since France has the currency of euros, the whole family have run out of euro bills and there are no ATM's close to get some coins and get drinks from the vending machines. nevertheless, Harry stayed up the entire night to entertain Louis. they were FaceTiming for an hour of two before Harry fell asleep on him. Louis stayed on the phone with him, just watching the boy sleeping. Harry's skin in sun kissed, even for a two week travel through Ireland. his hair got curlier, maybe because of the salt of the sea when Harry was in Cork. 

hours seemed to past quicker just by watching Harry for hours long. the sun began to rise, which means they're almost ready to board the flight. Louis whispers a sweet note to Harry before he hung up, texting him afterwards to let him know he looks cute asleep and he's on his way to London. he also texted his flight information, knowing Harry will probably stress if he doesn't know if Louis' safe. 

a few hours later, Louis finds himself in his boyfriends arms, in Harry's bed. Louis is seated in front of Harry, his back against Harry's chest, Harrys arms wrapped loosely around Louis' waist as they looked through old photobooks of Harry. "you were so cute, babe," Louis coos, grabbing a photo from the box and softly thumbing over the face of a baby Harry. Harry chuckles, his hands tightening around Louis' waist and pressing a kiss to the back of his neck. "can I keep this one?"

"sure, baby," his voice is sweet and thick, like honey. he's relaxed and in a different mind-set, which he is very content in. Louis loves it, he loves seeing Harry happy and loving the world, and himself. he has always known Harry was confident of his body, he just wasn't confident of his mind and his situation. as they looked more into the photobooks of Harry, the more Harry changed. 

in one picture, he had his hair dyed black, wearing tons of bracelets on both his arms, long back sleeves covering his thin arms. "this is where I got depressed," Harry softly said, covering Louis' hand with his, that held the photo. Harry sighs, his breath hitting the back of Louis' neck that made Louis' shiver. "I get it if you don't want to look any further,"

Louis shakes his head, "no I wanna know everything about you, so this part too," Louis argues, grabbing a new photobook that said "H.E.S 2005/2007 ages 14 to 16"

Harry didn't look happy at all. in family photos, Harry was seated all the way in the back, his hair still black. he was wearing one of those metal bands t-shirts, bracelets on his wrists with a bandana on it as well, probably covering his scars. in his jeans were holes, chains and patches from trying to fix the jeans. in the picture, Harry was toying with his food, which his mum found hilarious, picking on the boy. Harry didn't want to eat, just because he didn't felt the need to. Louis could feel the emptiness in Harry through the picture. 

the next photo was a headshot of Harry, where his mum probably forced him to smile. Harry looked dead straight into the camera, his piercing green eyes red rimmed from crying, his curls black and gelled down, his lip was bit and broken, bags under his eyes and cheeks sunken in. "I got into a fight that day. some boy called me self-Harmy since he caught me in the bathrooms with a blade to my wrist," Harry said, sighing loudly. "he told the whole school and since then the rumours started, all the way through high-school to right now."

"it's crazy to know this was only 4 to 6 years ago, you know? at that age Id never see myself sitting here, god, not even close to having a boyfriend now," Harry grabbed the photo from Louis, looking at his younger self. "a few days later I met Zayn and he kept me from taking my life, well, tried to,"

"I'll never stop thanking Zayn for that," Louis comments, turning around to face Harry. Harry lets go of the photo and his eyes lock with Louis'. "you're beautiful," Louis whispers, his fingers dancing through Harry's curls. Harry hums against his touch, closing his eyes and pressing his head into Louis' hand. Louis reminds Harry of a kitten. purring like a kitten as Louis' massages Harry's scalp. Harry opens his eyes and never leaves Louis'. Harry grabs Louis' hips gently and pulls him close, their lips connecting. Louis goes for the kiss and wraps his arms around Harry's neck, moving himself closer to Harry into his lap. his bum straight on Harry's cock. Harry grins against his lips, "no turning back, you know," Harry reminds him before diving into the heat of Louis' lips again.

"never wanna go back," Louis breaths into Harry's mouth. his hands find his way around Harry's curls, tugging and wrapping curls around his fingers. Louis holds himself up, Harry having to straighten his back and lean upward to kiss Louis. Harry's mind was fuzzed up, imagining Louis on top of him, towering over him. 

"want you to ride me, baby," Harry's voice is hazy and dark. Louis hums against his lips, moving his bum over Harry's dick, rilling Harry up. Harry hisses against Louis' lips, his fingers digging into Louis' hips. "want you on top of me, having to work for your own pleasure, working hard to get pleased, hmm, baby,"

"yes," Louis whines. Harry pulls his shirt over his head, throwing it to the other side of the room. Louis is quickly to follow, both of them now shirtless. Harry got off the bed to pull off his jeans, kicking them away. he notices the pile of photos that they were looking at. in one wipe with his arm, he shoves them all off the side of the bed, not caring if they were bend or chipped. Harry grabs Louis' ankles and pulls him to the end of the bed, untying Louis's sweats (since he got straight from the airport) and got them off with his boxers as well. they're both stark naked and hard. 

Harry sets one of his knees on the bed, towering over Louis as he kisses down his body. starting at his face, kissing him on the lips, behind his ear to his jaw, his neck, his collarbones, leaving some purple bruises behind. Louis' breath hitches as Harry moves down his chest, giving some attention to Louis' sensitive nipples, licking down Louis' stomach to the dip of his navel. he blows some raspberries on his stomach. Louis' mouth leaves silent giggles, cupping Harry's jaw to stop the boy from teasing. Harry pinches Louis' hip and Louis releases Harry's cheek. Harry carries on with his full body appreciation time, as he likes to call it.

"turn around for me, baby," Louis pleases Harry and turns around, his breath uneven and his fingers wrapping around the loose sheets from Harry's bed. Harry's hands move over the curve of Louis' body. his waist tiny, his hips wide and arse full, plump and delicious. his thighs are a sin. Harry would very much like to have his death caused by Louis' hips suffocating him. his mouth waters at the thought. "how about you ride my face, hmm, suffocating me with your sinful thighs and bum, darling," Louis hums, pushing his hips back to Harry's pelvis, wanting release and begging for attention. Harry's fingers dance over Louis' cheeks, one of his fingers toying Louis' hole. 

"please," Louis whimpers, his head falling in the sheets. Harry smirks at the sights. "wanna ride your face, Hazz, please," Harry nods, moving to the bed, laying his head on the pillows. Louis crawls over Harry's body. he grabs the windshield of the window and the headboard for support as he hovers his bum over Harry's face. 

"lower, baby, can't reach you up here," Harry guides Louis' hips down to his face. he knows Louis gets nervous about these things, but Harry's warm on Louis' thing reassurances him. Louis can look out of the window, the view on Harry's big backyard. his train of thoughts was interrupted by a wet touch down his hole. Louis' breath hitches, his fingers gripping the headboard. Harry's hands are cupping the swell of Louis' bum, his thumbs holding his cheeks apart to lick up Louis' hole. his hands are big enough to fit Louis' big bum in both his hands. Louis' breath uneven above Harry, grinding down on Harry's face. 

Harry holds him still, his tongue flat against Louis' hole, the tip of his tongue dipping in just a bit to tease Louis. he loves hearing Louis break down above him. from lapping his tongue down Louis' hole, he nibbles on Louis' hole, opening him up for his dick later on. Louis lets out little 'oh's every few seconds, his mouth open and head falling against his chest. Harry could feel Louis' body beginning to shudder under Harry's touch, so he quickens his pace. "Harry," Louis whimpers out. Harry hums under him, lowering Louis on him even more till his nose deep. Harry eats him out like a pro he is. Louis loves how Harry knows exactly how he can make him break down and beg for release, making him fall and shudder. Harry's cock is rock hard because of all Louis' little noises. "Harry, I'm-" Louis cries. Harry blows on his hole. Louis hitches, trying to escape the cold feeling. Harry held him down as he dives back in. his jaw never began to get tired, so skilled to please Louis like the prince he is. Louis' shudders and shakes the entire time. Harry releases one hand from Louis' bum, replacing his tongue with one of his finger, aiming for Louis' prostate as he sucks around his finger. Louis' whimpers above him, his moans broken as Harry rapidly abuses his prostate. "I'm coming- Harry- I'm-" Louis lets out a loud cry as he comes. Louis lets his head fall to the windowsill, the surface cold to his fuming forehead. Harry sighs contently underneath him, massaging Louis' bum to calm him down from his high.

Louis' lifts himself off Harry's face, letting Harry crawl under him and climbing back up, spooning Louis from behind, his cock against Louis' back. Harry presses kisses down Louis' back. "opened you up real good for my cock, hmm, ready for a second one, baby?" Louis nods, lifting his head from the windowsill. "wanna ride me or are you too tired?" Harry asks. 

"wanna do it," Louis breaths out. he doesn't want to stop, he wants Harry to fill him up with his big cock. Louis turns around and pushes Harry down the bed. Harry laughs, his head falling back off the bed. Louis giggles, pulling Harry a bit down with effort, Harry's head resting just on the edge of the foot end of the bed. Louis climbs on top of Harry, his thighs on both sides of Harry, trapping him. 

"you're so gorgeous, love," Harry whispers. Louis loves it how Harry compliments him during sex. it boosts Louis' confidence and need to please Harry. Louis' fingers dancing over Harry's pelvis, toying with Harry's cock. Harry hisses, holding himself up with his elbows. Louis needs both hands to cover Harry's entire dick, standing a good 10 inches up. Louis' lowers his head and licks Harry's head to wet it a lube for later. Harry' chest tightens, biting back a moan. Louis grins around his cock and lowers to take more of Harry down his throat. "don't choke yourself, baby, gotta save some voice for later," Harry smirks. Louis ignores him and takes as much as he can, choking in the end. a moan escapes from Harry's lips. Louis has an excellent mouth, an incredible hand work and knows how to make Harry all fuzzy in the head. 

"gotta let me go if you dont want me to cum," Harry warns, letting himself fall. Louis sucks on Harry's head for a bit more, sliding his tongue down Harry's slit to suck the precum before releasing. Louis reaches for the bedside table for the lube, throwing it to Harry's side. they decided against condoms as they both got tested after their first time having sex. Harry preferred having sex without a condom and the feeling of filling up someone. Louis got hard just thinking about it and they both agreed to go without as their results came out in their favour. Harry works the lube over his dick, getting it wet for his boy. "ready baby?"

Louis nods, hovering his hips over Harry's dick. he teases Harry by pressing the head in, lifting up and down for a few times. Harry groans, grabbing Louis' hips and forcing Louis' down his cock. "dont' tease," Harry warns, digging his fingers in Louis' hips. Louis' cheeks are on Harry's pelvis, his dick buried deep in Louis' hole. Louis needs a breather for a good few seconds, already feeling the need to cum with just being filled to the brim. Louis holds himself steady by holding Harry's arms, moving his hips up and down as he starts to bounce on Harry's cock. Harry breaths in deeply, his exhale coming out uneven and wavy, a moan leaving afterwards. "you're so incredibly beautiful, darling,"

Louis' cheeks are flushed red, not just because of the sex, but all Harrys' compliments are so genuine. "so tight and full of me, can fuck you for hours and you'd still be so tight as a virgin." Harry began to move his hips up, meeting with Louis' moves. Louis' throws his head back, his neck bearing. Harry sits up straight and dives to kiss Louis' neck all over, marking him as Louis' hips move in eight-motions. "gonna cum, baby-" Harry warns, his breath all over Louis' neck. Louis nods, looking back down to kiss Harry. Harry's hips shoot upwards, aiming for Louis' prostate constantly. Louis moans out little 'oh's and 'ah's with every hit on his prostate. his body starts to shake again, Harry pressing kisses down his body. Harry lays Louis down on his back and thrusts downwards, letting him take over Louis. he noticed how tired Louis looked and just wanted release. Harry hits his prostate a few more times before Louis' cums for the second time, shooting white ribbons down his chest. Louis' breaths out wavy as Harry chases for his own climate. Harry's body shudders and lets out a loud groan as he releases in Louis' hole, filling Louis up. Louis whimpers at the feeling of being so incredibly full with Harry's cum. Harry moves Louis' to the side so they can spoon, Harry's cock still buried in Louis'. Louis loves, loves being filled by Harry, letting his cum stay there for a good few hours.

"love you," Harry whispers, his lips pressing a kiss to the back of Louis' neck. Harry moves his hips more against Louis' bum, reminding him that Louis' filled. Louis whimpers, crawling up in a ball. "love you too,"

Louis wakes up by wet touches in his hole. Louis hums, automatically spreading his legs as he slowly hits reality and wakes up to see a pile of Harry down his thighs, eating him out like it's his last meal. Louis' fingers tighten around the sheets, "Hazz," Louis whimpers, looking over his shoulder. he can see Harry' lips nipping at Louis, his nose in the curve between Louis' cheeks, his jaw moving like a professional. it's hot. Louis lets his head fall between his shoulders, holding himself up with his elbows. it didn't take long before Louis spills between his chest and the sheets.

"good morning, baby," Harry's voice is broken and heavy, probably from eating too much ass. "got so hard looking at my cum dripping down your thighs couldn't dear to let it all go to waste," Harry grins, crawling back up to kiss Louis good morning.

"morning breath, and cum breath-" Louis shoves Harry's face away, groaning and turning around in Harry's bed. Harry chuckles, tickling Louis' sides. Louis shrieks and tries to get away from Harry's evil fingers. "H-Hazz! stop!" Louis laughs, kicking with his legs to push Harry away from him. Harry laughs. Louis' moves his arm over his face, shielding him from Harry's beautiful face. "I made a song, about you,"

"another?" Louis' grins, revealing his ocean eyes to Harry. Harry nods, biting his lip as he reaches for his guitar. he sits, still in his naked glory, with his guitar on his lap as he plays the intro. Louis grabs a pillow, stuffing it under his head and watches Harry as he plays a new song.

"I'm guessing it's called, Fine Line?" Louis asks with a chuckle after Harry finished singing his song. Harry burst out of laughter and punched Louis in the shoulder, making it up by kissing him on the mouth. "it's really beautiful, Harry, once again. you've got a gift,"

"you're my gift," harry licks his lip, his eyes wandering over Louis' face.

@HarryStyles: adore you, my love.

@HarryStyles: adore you, my love 

@Louist94: love you 😊

@EthanBellé: cute!!! 

@VennessaCurtys: @ChrisFisscher self-Harmy got a boytoy

@ChrisFisscher: @VennessaCurtys lol ill give it a month

@Louist94: @ChrisFisscher @VennessaCurtys try 7 months x

Harry's officially in his last year of college. Louis' just in his second. before Harry went to this school, he didn't have a clue how to play instruments, let alone, sing. he chose for the most typical study ever, PE. he likes it, don't get him wrong, but he doesn't want to be an athlete or gymnastics teacher any time soon.

Louis never even played a musical. he's too caught up with his history instead of doing what he actually enjoys, theatre. both of them decide to go to different universities after their graduation. Louis wants to study theatre, Harry wants to proceed in his music.

Harry is greeted by Zayn and his buddy now, Ethan. "good to see you, mate," Zayn pulled him in for a hug, handing him a cigarette afterwards. Harry sends Ethan a small wave, nothing major. "can you grab my lighter, please, baby?" Harry asks Louis, fag between his lips. Louis digs around in Harry's bag for his lighter. Louis lights the fag for him and giggles at the smoke that got blown into his fake.

"wow Louis lighting Harry's fag, 6 weeks have changed you," Zayn joked, taking the lighter from Louis to light his own. Louis shrugs, leaning against Harry's broad chest. "H, you never told me about your last minute trip to Ireland,"

Harry glares at him, "wonderful," he said coldly, getting a pinch in his arm from Louis. Harry flinches at the sudden pain and rolls his eyes at his boyfriend. "no it was good, cleared my mind, made me see things in different perspective, and it made me think how I would feel if I were Louis in our situation, which is good,"

Louis nods in agreement, "Hazz's record of replying is now 2 minutes and 47 seconds, I'm proud," Harry chuckles, pressing a kiss to Louis' temple. Zayn nods impressively. "yet my message from 4 months back is still unopened," 

Harry just sucks in the nicotine, "no comment," 

Ethan talked about his vacation in Mexico with his family. Harry could imagine himself and Louis going to Mexico fucking on their private beach. Harry sighs, looking at his boyfriend who listened attentively to Ethan's stories. "I heard Cancun is beautiful," Louis commented. "would love to go there,"

Ethan nods with large eyes, "Cancun is incredible, perfect place to just travel around in the car with the windows down and blasting old hits, you should try it!" 

"don't have a license yet, I'm still 17," Louis pouts. "Hazz only has a motorcycle license, which will also be incredible, innit?"

Harry nods, "I'll take you wherever you want, baby," Harry whispers sensually in his ear, teething at Louis' earlobe. Louis sucks in his breath, reaching to touch Harry, grabbing his shirt. Harry smirks in his ear, pressing a kiss on his jaw. "love you,"

"love you too," Louis breaths out. 

"geez keep it in your pants, self-Harmy," Harry looks up from the comment. Vennessa. 

"go suck your dads cock," Harry hisses through his teeth. Louis looks over his shoulder at the girl. she has beautiful brown locks touching her spine, rich looking, of course. "that's where you get your money from huh, your daddy," Harry teases, sucking on his cigarette.

"fag."

"sure am," Harry laughs, turning back to Zayn. Zayn rolls his eyes playfully at Harry. he checks his watch, only 5 minutes left before their classes start. "I'll see you in a bit, yeah?" Louis nods. he patiently waits for Harry to finish his cigarette before pressing their lips together. "love you,"

"love you too,"

Harry presses another kiss down Louis' neck, slightly nibbling on it to leave a red mark to show he's taken and his. Louis smiles up at him and they part ways. Harry has a class without Louis and Zayn, maths. Ethan shows up, "Harry!" Harry sighs deeply, sinking down his seat as he walks up to him, plopping down next to him. "didn't knew you take maths,"

"everyone has maths," Harry grabs his notebook from his bag and throws it on his table, checking the time on his iPhone. he smiles at the background, a picture of a sleeping Louis. 

"you and Louis are cute, really cute, wish I had a boyfriend like Louis'," Ethan tries to start a conversation, "when and how did you meet?" he questions.

"school 7 months ago, musicroom," Harry coldly replied, grabbing his earbuds to plug in his ears to block off Ethans annoying voice and Hozier fills his eardrums, as the teacher that entered the class. everyone got silent so the teacher could start.

"welcome back to another year of college, for some of us the last year before they head off for their full-time job or to study further in university- Harry, what are your plans?" Harry looks up from his notebook.

"hmm?" he pulls on the threads of his earbuds, one bud plopping out of his ear as he looks unbothered at the teacher. "what are your plans after this year of college?"

"probably royal academy of music," Harry mumbles out.

"music? you're studying PE, right?"

harry nods, but doesn't oblige and puts the earbud back in his ear. the teacher sighs. Harry is never active in her classes, even if she tries. she heads off to a different student that talks excitedly about her future. after they talk about their fantasies for the future, the teacher heads off to grab the copies for upcoming term. Harry on his phone, he thinks Louis got him addicted to social media. Harry got a notification from Louis that he sent him a photo through DM's, probably a weird cat videos that he watches every evening and shows Harry. Harry smiles, liking the feeling that Louis thinks about him when seeing cute cat videos.

Harry just sends him a heart and cat emoji in return. his phone made a noise, letting him know he gotten a new mail in his inbox. he looks through his mails, a lot of them being he's turned down for a flat in London. his eyes widened to see a mail from some real estate, inviting him for an open house for a flat he's interested in. Harry obviously accepts the invite and lets the real estate know he'll be there. this is a chance for Harry to get his own flat, well. it's underground, but Harry doesn't mind. the pictures were beautiful and Harry had already envisioned how to decorate his place.

not a week later, Harry gets the keys to his new underground flat in Kensington. turns out, a mate from Zayn, Niall, lives in the building next to him on the second floor. Zayn didn't take the news all to well, but he's confident that Harry won't be doing anything stupid, "and this is the bathroom, look- a fucking bathtub," Harry has his hand tight around Zayn's bicep, pulling him through the place he just owned. 

"it's a real cool place, you even got a back patio," Zayn opened the door to the back patio, immediately met with the walls. Harry grins at him, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I'm real proud of you, H. if you need any help with moving in, let me know and I'll bring some mates," Harry nods, going back into his place and sighs. it's a content sigh. he's glad to move out of his parents house, and finally on his own. Louis can come and sleep over whenever the fuck he wanted. it's close to his future university, as he hopes, and close to their current college. 

Louis' parents didn't take Harry's moving out good either. Jay argued with Louis about his safety and still being underaged and under Jay's rules. Louis slammed the door in her face and fell to his bed, grabbing his phone that he kept under his pillow, texting Harry.

Hazz🥰: mum doesn't like me staying at yours... still doesn't fully accept u I guess... 😒

Harry wasn't online since 4:37PM and it's 10:52PM. Louis doesn't mind, since Harry is currently moving to his new place. at around 3AM Harry sends him a series of photos from his place, furniture now in the building and boxes scattered around with 'kitchen' 'clothes' and every other essential written on the outside with a black marker. Louis could see Harry's little stash of guitars in the corner of what he's guessing his bedroom. Louis' hasn't seen the place yet, since Jay doesn't allow him.

it takes some time to convince Jay to at least come with him when they go to Harry's. Jay was already skeptic about the place, it being in the outskirts of Kensington. "it's too far away from us to go on your own Lou, especially at night," Jay commented, pulling up to Harry's place. the buildings are tall, and there's a staircase going down to the underground flats. Louis rolls his eyes and got out of the car the second it's parked. Harry's motorcycle is parked against the fence of his property, chained to the metal fence. Louis walks down the staircase, not even waiting for his mum. the little front patio is already decorated with a little bench, bin and mailbox. curtains are hung up for privacy. Louis waits to knock on the door as Jay walks down the stairs complaining about having no railing to hold onto. her fingers glide down the stones to help her from falling down.

Louis knocks on the door and skips on his feet going forth and back. Louis could hear Harry yelling he's coming, opening the door the second after with a messy white T on and grey sweats. "welcome to the Styles residence," Harry smirks, holding the door open for Louis and Jay to come in. they immediately walk into the kitchen and entrance, a door to the bathroom and bedroom. "it's not as big as my old place but it's definitely a find." Harry says, cleaning his hands with a dry cloth since he has been working on the heating that had to be fixed. 

"it's really cute, Hazz," Louis smiles, walking around the living room and kitchen that is separated with a build in wall. Harry nods in agreement, "I can tell you're really happy with it," Louis turns back to face his boyfriend.

"I am, movie nights every day, takeout whenever I want, as much noise as I want, well, as long my neighbours dont complain," Louis giggles. "take a look around, bedroom is to your left, bathroom is the door by the entrance," Harry tells Jay, who looks skeptically around. Jay slowly nods and opens the bathroom. Harry pushes Louis against the wall and dives down to kiss Louis. "can't wait to fuck you so hard they'll hear you on the third floor," Harry whispers in his ear, kissing him on the jaw and leaving little red marks behind. 

"Harry, is there any ventilation in this bathroom?" 

Louis and Harry quickly part, both of them wiping their mouth. Harry clears his throat and heads to the bathroom, "yeah there is, ventilation is almost as brand is new," Harry leans against the doorway.

"don't think I don't know what's going if I'm in a different room, Styles. I know what your intentions are with my son," she glares, pointing at Harry's chest.

"what do you think my intentions are?" Harry asks, a frown plastered on his gorgeous face as he folds his hands over his chest.

"he's underaged, he has never experienced love before, you're unstable- that leads up to one thing, my son getting heartbroken and tossed to the streets the second you're done playing with him," she argues. Harry is in shock that she thinks that lowly of him.

"Mrs Tomlinson, I- I will never hurt Louis intentionally. do believe me when I say I love that boy. I can assure you he's safe with me, I know how to protect the people I love, please just trust me. I have no bad intentions with your son but just to make him happy and feel loved,"

"he was so messed up during our vacation when you toyed with his feelings and held him on a tight rope, only to suffocate with concerns just because you're selfish." Jay passes him to meet Louis in Harry's bedroom, going through Harry's photobooks he took with him. these were new, filled with photos from his vacation and memories with Zayn and Louis. Jay walks silently into the room, seeing Louis on Harry's unmade bed looking through the photos. 

there were tons of photos of Harry and Louis scattered around. Jay grabs one from the floor that might escaped the box and looks at it. Louis' eyes were shining with happiness and love. Harry has his lips attached to Louis' cheeks, eyes closed. Louis is facing the camera, probably taking it as well. his smile is bright and gorgeous as always. Jay sighs, "he loves you, you know?" Jay whispers, plopping down next to Louis.

"I wished you loved him too, mum," Louis brushes his finger over Harry's face on the photo he holds. a photo of a sleeping Harry that Louis secretly took on their first night sleeping over. Louis has Harry's cheek cupped, caressing his cheekbone as Harry snuggled into the touch. Harry knocks on the door, smiling softly at the two of them, "I'll let you two alone for a bit, I'll head out for some groceries, keys are in the kitchen, lock the door as you go," Louis nods and waits for the front door to close.

"I had a friend back in high school, he was a total hottie and everyone loved him, he was creative and talented, everyone wanted him and he only wanted me, but I didn't want him back, I had my eyes on Mark, all this time. he tried his best to come close to me, and he got so close I fell for him. his eyes were bright, his smile was magical. he toyed with me for months, on and off, and he reminded me of Harry for a while. I didn't know what plays when I'm not around. the day Harry was at ours and both of you were in your room, I felt the need to constantly check up on you, but I know you deserve your privacy like everyone does."

Jay sighs, grabbing Louis' hand that still held the picture of the two of them, "I was worried he'd break you like Austin broke me- but seeing the smile you wear whenever you're with Harry, when you get a message from him, when you even think about him, it's genuine. Harry has his eyes set on you and it's genuine. I'm just so scared you'll experience the same thing as I did,"

Louis nods with his head hung low. "Harry had depression, for almost 15 years, ever since he was 6 he experienced doubt in his happiness and health. he has been self-harming for 13 years, and he stopped for me, because I was so hurt to see him hurt himself. he felt so bad that he was the reason I was down and he wanted to quit, not only for me. he has been seeking help but no one wanted to help him because everyone thought he was a creep, people teased him for years, calling him 'self-harmy' when someone found out Harry had been hurting himself, and he wanted to change but he never felt the reason to do so, until he met me and he's quit, mam, he quit. he has been clean for 100 days until he withdrawed again, that's the reason he went away to find himself without me,

he wanted to know if he could do it without my need, cause I won't be there every time and he knows that. he knows I'm still underaged and he accepts it that you want me home by midnight, want me to go home straight from school, that college is a big thing for me, he knows it. he found himself and he has been clean ever since, he didn't have the urge or has been withdrawing or having any bad thoughts."

Jay's heart felt heavy and so sorry for Harry. "his parents never tried to help him?" Louis shakes his head. "wow." she rubs her hands down her face, feeling a wash of sadness covering her from top to bottom. "he's strong. I never imagined him being sad or depressed. he looked so happy when he came over at ours," Jay commented, shocked to know Harry's story.

Louis nods, "thats because I was there for him when no one was, he's happy with me, and I am with him," Jay promised to try and change her opinion on Harry, leaving Louis in Harry's flat alone, giving him and Harry time for their own in his flat. Jay didn't want to think about what can happen when Harry comes back and drives home.

Harry has his heart in his stomach as he sees Jay's car is gone, guessing Louis went with her. Harry holds the bag to his chest, opening the door to his place and sighs, no sounds coming from his bedroom where Louis and Jay were before he left. Harry heads to the kitchen and unloads his grocers. he wanted to make some Italian wraps for him and Louis, but he can just throw a frozen pizza in the oven and call it a day. Harry huffs, deciding to clean out some of his boxes and heads to the bedroom, shrieking as he sees Louis on the bed, sitting on his thighs and smiling brightly at Harry.

Harry frowns, placing the box on top of his dresser, "I-I thought you went home with Jay?"

Louis shakes his head, "I told her about your story and she feels like she start over again and wants to give you a second chance, all though you didn't even fuck up your first chance," Harry's lips curved into a beautiful big smile. he dives on his bed and pressed Louis close to him.

"you don't know how glad I am to hear that,"

Ethan has been getting on Harry's nerve every goddamn time. he's too noisy. he's too present. he's too loud. turns out, Ethan and Harry have almost every class together, apart from music, which Harry is glad with. he doesn't want Ethan minding his business into Harrys shit with the stuff he adores. with every break between their classes, Harry rushes outside to smoke 5 cigarettes, sometimes even more. Zayn began to get worried. 

Harry is on his 4th cigarette in just a mere of 20 minutes. his earbuds in his ears, beanie covering his curls, his coat up to his neck and his arms crossed, one hovering over the cigarette resting between his lips. his back is facing Ethan, who's talking to Zayn. they got along just fine and Harry couldn't stand it. Ethan couldn't stand it that Harry disliked him. what has he done wrong?

"I can't figure Harry out, it's quite frustrating," Ethan admitted, thanking Zayn for the cig offer. Zayn hums, nodding as he lights up his second cig. he sucks in the nicotine and blows it out, shrugging and nodding at Harry,

"you shouldn't mess with him. he clearly showed you he doesn't want to be close to you or interact with you, so accept it. people don't get along when you want them to," Zayn said, "Harry and I didn't get along in the first place when we met 10 years ago, like, it took him some weeks to grow warm to me. but its been months with you and him, just settle down," 

Ethan shrugs, "he's interesting, there's something about him that wants you to just get to know him and hear him talk,"

Zayn frowns, his fingers just an inch away from his lips to put his cigarette in between, "you're not like into him, are you?" Ethan's eyes widened, like he just has been caught. he shakes his head with a force. "I get H is interesting cause he doesn't open much, he opened up about his past during a talent show here but that's all,"

"how did Louis get through him then?" Ethan asks interested. Zayn lets out a breathy laugh.

"that's a real different story, and not mine to tell, unfortunately. it's a fairytale, that for sure," Zayn smiled at Harry's silhouette. Zayn is genuinely happy for his mate, wishing nothing but happiness. "Louis' supposed to come in like 5 minutes," Zayn adds as he checks his watch. Ethan nods. Harry was already walking back to them, also knowing Louis' coming. "on how many are you now?"

"9th," Harry chuckles, just lighted up a new one. 

"Louis' gonna hate that taste of yours, H,"

"what taste?" Louis walks up to them with a smile, carrying is book bag around his shoulder. Louis presses a long kiss to Harry's lips, Harry's free arm sneaking around his tiny waist.

"Harry's cig taste, he's on his ninth now," Zayn informed. Louis backed up, looking unimpressed to his boyfriend. 

"gotta have one addiction, aye," Harry chuckles.

"someone has gotten high on cigarettes, you gotta stop smoking Higgs, babe," Louis digs his hands in Harry's pocket, grabbing the box that holds Harry's overpriced cigs. "you're already gone through third of it, H, you just got it yesterday- I'm gonna keep this with me, thats your last one for today,"

Harry holds his breath, rolling his eyes. "don't roll your eyes on me, Styles. I'm mad at you,"

"it's just some cigarettes, baby, nothings gonna kill me," Harry whines, wrapping his arms around Louis' waist. Louis sighs in defeat, snuggling closer to Harry's warm body. Harry hides his face in Louis' hair, wanting nothing to but close to him.

Louis sneaks his hand out to Zayn, handing him the cigarette and looks at him in the corner of his eye. Zayn smirks, shaking his head and hides the cigarettes in his backpack. Ethan grins, catching Harry's attention. Harry straightens his back and looks at Louis, "you know I've got more at my place?" Harry teases. Louis pokes his chest, shaking his head.

"no you don't, cause I'm free now, and you still have 2 hours to go, and who got the keys to your place?"

Harry sighs, throwing his head back, "darling-" Harry whines, grabby hands to Louis. Louis steps backwards, shaking his head.

"once you get home, we gotta set up some rules, yeah? you should check up on your lungs," Louis suggests. Harry rolls his eyes with a smile, liking how his boyfriend is so concerning and wanting nothing but a healthy Harry. "with the amount you smoke and the years you've been doing it'll take years for you to turn back to normal," Louis' tone is disapproving to Harry's liking. 

"baby, I'm fine, stop worrying your pretty little head, we'll set up some rules if that makes you happy, yeah?"

Louis nods, tapping his lips, asking for a kiss without saying a word. Harry chuckles and presses their lips together. it's a cue for Zayn and Ethan to leave, heading to a class they have together. Harry has music and Louis' heading to Harry's place. "I'm going to make an appointment for you, to check up your lungs- it really isn't good for you, H..."

Harry sighs against his lips, nodding ever so slightly, "sure babe,"

Harry's lungs are the lungs of a man that has been smoking for 40 years, and Harry's 20. he has made a different appointment to do some tests to see if he has any cancer cells in his lungs, since smoking has a 80% chance of you getting lung cancer. he promised Louis to be fine, that he won't die and he'll be there for Louis.

turns out, he has been trying to kill himself for years, slowly, but steady. he and Louis got into their first fight, which lead to their first breakup in their 2 year relationship. Zayn was there for Harry for 4 months, trying to get Louis out of his head. he didn't believe in high school sweethearts. he really didn't, until he met Louis. he knew Louis would be the one to send him to heaven when the time comes.

four years later, he enters the studio. he had a handful of songs he wanted to produce. he got the opportunity to work with some of the best producers located in London. his first session lead up to him signing up with Columbia Records. 

maybe he had good karma on his side this time.

walking down the streets of London, the same streets he used to walk almost everyday, he knocked on the door he first set foot in. this time, the lady doesn't open the door, but a male, a different one he's not familiar with. "is Louis here?" Harry asks, "I'm an old friend of his, Harry,"

the man closed his open mouth, nodding and holding the door open, "he's around the corner," Harry thanks him with a smile and the house felt different. it wasn't welcoming like it used to be when he first met Louis' parents. the kids weren't running around the house anymore, maybe because it was 5 years ago he'd seen them. Harry breathed in deeply and turns around the corner, seeing Louis curled up in a ball in the corner of the couch reading what seemed like a book Harry once gave him for a birthday present, glasses perched up his perfect button nose.

"knock knock,"

Louis looks up from his book, holding the page between his fingers so he knows where he left off. his finger fell of the page, "Harry..." Harry smiles softly at him, walking up to him. "how are you?" Louis invited him to take a seat next to him. Harry did so, looking around the house.

"it's different, here," Harry noticed. Louis nods, his hands clammed together.

"mum passed away," 

Harry's head snapped, "Lou-"

"cancer got a hold of her, just a year ago," Louis looked in front of him. "I thought I'd see you on your death bed earlier than I'd see my mum, to be honest." that hit Harry. "my mum was perfectly health, not a single bad cell was found in her body."

"I'm sorry, Jesus..." Harry felt useless.

"why are you here? you got lung cancer?" Louis asks, his head snapping to face Harry, pointing at the files that were stored in a white file. Harry shakes his head.

"got signed today. I'm gonna release Creep,"

Louis' eyebrows shot up, "are you serious?" his eyes lit up and snatched the file out of Harry's hand, he grabs the papers out of the file and his eyes fly over the letters. "Columbia, Harry! Columbia!" 

Harry chuckles. he pinched his lips between his fingers, nodding, "I can't believe it, it felt so right to do it, but I couldn't release songs that were about you without your consent- I wouldn't if you're not okay with it,"

"release them, H, you need to put that out into the world- those songs are incredible, Harry! you're gifted, you're meant to do this," Louis held Harry's thigh, that felt a lot stronger, more muscle. has Harry been working out?

he does look really good for a 25 year old. a lot more colour. literally. he didn't even notice the light washed jeans and flower patterned blouse. a pearl necklace around his neck. its not the same Harry he left 5 years ago. "I've been clean, for 6 years. no blades, no thoughts, no urges, no cigarettes."

"thats great, Harry-" Louis stammers out, facing Harry, "I'm proud of you, I really am,"

Harry smiles at him, looking down to his hands. "I want to do this, so badly,"

"you need to take it, with both hands, you've waited so long and worked so hard for this."

"I can't do it without you. I tried."

Louis nods, grabbing Harry's hand with both of his, 

"we're a team, creep. even after 5 years."

the end.


End file.
